Masochist ver 1
by Jaiden Lockheart
Summary: Being the new kid is never easy, but maybe this time there would be someone worth staying for. Narusasu, Kibashika and others.
1. Androgynous

**Note: Hey guys, I know what you're all saying and yes, this is a new story by moi! It's got almost the same set up as Follow You, with slight with a few slight changes. It's an AU with a few OC's but they don't have any major rolls, so you don't have to worry about dumb OC's screwing up the story with all their…non-naruto-ness…**

**Warnings: This will eventually be a Slash…NaruSasu, to be exact! There's some language issues and possibly some drug/alcohol abuse, self-mutilation…but that comes in later chapters, this one doesn't really have much to worry about…but if these things offend you, you may want to think about leaving.**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

* * *

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter I: Androgynous

**POV: Naruto Uzumaki**

**Location: York Beach**

**Day: 1, Friday, October 27**

I met Sasuke Uchiha on one of the coldest days I can remember in my seventeen years of life. Having grown up in the northern most part of the United States, I was quite accustomed to the cold wintery breezes and initial snow falls of late October in York, Maine. However, I don't recall there ever being a day as cold as the one on which I met him. I don't remember there ever being quite that much snow cover before or after, or that much blistery wind. It was the kind of day that, when walking outside, one's nose would turn an almost alarming shade of pink and I remember I was able to see my breath come out in puffs that could rival the smoke from my neighbors cigarette. Everyone was bundled in their oversized hoodies and hats, because let's face it, we were too used to the cold to wear anything really protective. I was enjoying the almost completely empty beach--the tourists had stopped coming in at the end of August--with my headphones tucked into my ears and my hands in my pockets. So, I can't really say it was a bad day, just a cold day.

A memorable day.

The ocean was, as per usual, a beautiful display of the feeling of York, Maine that day. It was a little restless, as if something major was about to happen. The ocean knew that, and let us know too. No natives ignored the ominous waves that crashed to the shore today; we never ignored them. A storm was brewing, most likely a last testament from the hurricane season refusing to die out completely just yet.

The color was darker than it should have been, than it had been recently. A sort of darkness seemed to have taken over for the normal gray-green hue of the water. It would have looked black to those not standing right in front of it and even I was slightly deceived by the dark tone. It was too dark too suddenly. The abrupt change in all of my surroundings would have been frightening, had I let them get to me. But the truth was, I was too occupied with other thoughts to really be disturbed by something like darker water and colder temperatures. No, I had my mind on other things.

Particularly with the boy who was standing next to me on this almost empty beach. His own hands shoved into his hoodie pockets and his hair effectively covering his face, I tried to ignore him as well as he was oh-so-easily ignoring me. I hadn't spoken a word to him since we had left his new house down the street from mine to come walking out to a deserted stretch of sand and an angry ocean.

Actually, I wasn't even sure he would know what I was saying if I did speak to him. He had yet to say anything to anyone since I met him, and when his guardian--I wasn't sure if he was related to the man or not--had asked him a question earlier it had been in Japanese. He hadn't answered the man, just gave a curt nod and waited for me to show him the way to the beach.

And now here we were, at a loss of what to do now that we'd reached our destination. It would have been nice to have a swim, but I knew my body would absolutely hate me for plunging it into the frigid water, so I stayed put and tried to train my eyes away from the foreign wonder that had followed me here almost obediently. However, my efforts were in vain and I settled on just staring at him after awhile. I did feel slightly guilty, surely he didn't like me glaring at his back like this, but the thought was too weak to stop me from doing it. Like I said, he was a foreign wonder. Foreign things didn't belong here. He didn't belong here.

I have nothing personally against anyone who's from another country. But damn, he seemed to stick out like a sore thumb and I couldn't help myself. I wasn't going to admit out loud that I thought he was beautiful, but there was honestly no other way to describe him. Everything about him was just so effeminate, it was nearly ridiculous.

Instead of broad, like myself, he was slight, slender. Skinny to the point where I thought I could break him. He stood just a little under my nose; I'd had to look down at him when our parental figures had made us shake hands. He was pale, paler than anyone coming out of Asia ever should be, and a lot paler than me. But then there was the stark contrast of black against his completely white skin. His hair was so dark it was almost blue, and his eyes--what little I'd seen of them--had been so deep a gray I'd had trouble deciphering where his pupils started and his irises ended. And he wore black too, it was everywhere, from his slim-fitted t-shirt to his wrist-to-elbow arm guards to his oversized tennis shoes. He looked depressed, standing there ignoring me in all his black-filled, tight-clothed glory.

That was fine, he could ignore me. But I wasn't going to be the only one who would stare at his model-quality beauty for long. He would have to meet other people, right? Eventually, yes he would have to associate with other people here in York, and they would be just as taken with his looks. Gods knew it wouldn't be his dazzling personality that sparked anyone's interest.

I glanced down at my watch, five past six o'clock. This evening was going by quicker than I'd expected it would. The unnerving silence that had settled over Sasuke and me had effectively convinced me that this was going to be the longest night of my entire life. Fortunately, I'd told Iruka that I would be home for dinner, and dinner was always at promptly six-thirty.

"We'd better start heading back," I told Sasuke, unsure if he understood me, "I have to be home soon and it takes a little longer walking back home than walking here."

"Why?" Sasuke asked, turning his deep-gray orbs to me and piercing me with a gaze I found I couldn't look away from. Hadn't I already answered the question he was asking. It was common knowledge that it was always a longer walk home than to the beach.

"What?" I answered him with my own confusion. I felt like an idiot, standing there, in front of this complete stranger whose eyes I couldn't look away from and unsure of what he was saying. I thought I'd established he was the foreign one, wasn't I supposed to have all the answers.

"Why does it take longer to get back home than it does to walk here?" He clarified slowly, as if I was stupid or something. He didn't emphasize any of his words like I'd thought he would--he seemed like that kind of guy--but spoke with an even tone, a calm tone. He was only making me feel more and more ridiculous. However, I did have information he didn't and that gave me the advantage I needed to not feel at a total loss.

"Well," I started and almost smacked myself for sounding so pathetic, "we'll be walking uphill all the way home."

As if to convince himself of my words he glanced behind me, to the entrance in which we came. A delicate brow raised in what I believed to be recognition and started walking towards me.

Only he wasn't walking towards me, but around me and up the path to the wooden gate entrance. I didn't move, just watched as he brushed past me and started up the stairs. He got up five steps before he turned back to me, a slightly confused look marring his former impassive features.

"Are you coming?" He asked, shifting his weight to one side.

"Err…yeah…of course." I said quickly and ran to catch up with him. I didn't miss the slight smirk that graced his lips--thin pink lips curling wickedly--as I moved past him.

We fell into silence once more as we walked home.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, Naruto, what did you think of Sasuke?" Iruka asked me once I was home and sitting and looking at him from across the table. He shoveled some Spanish rice onto his plate next to his fajita and guacamole. He'd recently gone on this foreign craze and now we had meals that were from all over the world every night. It was a little weird, especially when he got the idea to do some third world countries where they ate cooked insects and things. I could deal with things like Mexican food though, and I dug right into my chicken.

"He was alright," I lied, not really wanting to get into a conversation about the ice princess because I already knew where it would end up. He would want to know what it was about Sasuke that I didn't really like, and frankly, I didn't feel like getting into it with him.

"He seems really nice, you two are going to be good friends." he said and pinned me with his dark brown eyes. I should have smiled, I should have said that yes, I did think we would become good friends, but I didn't do that.

"If he's able to have friends…" I mumbled to myself and frowned at my glass of coke.

"What?" Iruka asked, his brow wrinkling in confusion.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." I told him, scooping more rice onto my fork before shoveling it into my mouth. It really did taste good, Iruka's cooking always was. He'd taught me a lot about cooking since I'd moved in with him. It was probably our most treasured pastimes together.

"Listen, Naruto, I know Sasuke seemed a little…quiet…" Iruka started to explain. I wrinkled my brow in disgust and confusion.

"Quiet? The boy didn't say two words to you and he only spoke to me that one time…and that was when he absolutely had to." I protested. I didn't want to get into it with Iruka, but sometimes the man didn't see reality. "He was rude, not quiet."

"Naruto," Iruka repremended, "The poor boy just moved here, halfway around the world, he's shy. It'll take some time for him to feel at home here. How would you feel if you had had to move last summer to Japan? Huh?"

I sighed, put down. I knew that Iruka was right, Sasuke was probably just having a hard time adjusting to his new home. He was going to be a junior in high school this year, only a year younger than me, and I knew I wouldn't want to have to move in the middle of my high school career. I should have cut him some slack, this was only his first day here.

"No," I answered Iruka quietly and listened to him sigh heavily before standing up and clearing off the table. I didn't mention the fact that I wasn't done eating, it wasn't good to provoke an emotional Iruka, and I could tell he was emotional. He'd always taken a liking to new kids, it came with his job of school principal.

When my plate was taken from in front of me and carried over to the sink, I stood. Throwing my orange hoodie over my head--the world concealed from view for a few seconds,--I decided it was best I went upstairs and started on my homework and left Iruka to his worrying. I almost made it to the doorway that lead to the front hall before his words stopped me.

"Naruto?" I turned back to see him watching me with wary eyes. He sighed again, before motioning me over to him. I didn't hesitate to walk back to him and wrap my arms around his waist in an affectionate hug. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you were just frustrated." He practically whispered and I nodded while pulling away from him again.

"It's alright, you didn't really yell." I told him, because it was true. He hadn't yelled at me, was just a little stern, and I knew I deserved that.

He nodded and glanced over at the window sill where he kept pictures of the family. I noticed his eyes traveled to one picture in particular. One of a young boy with dark hair and eyes standing next to an older woman, the two of them were smiling and waving to whoever was taking the picture, I assumed it was Iruka. They looked so happy in the picture and I knew Iruka was happy with them.

"Hey, Listen, I'm gonna go do some homework." I said and took a step back to lean against the counter. It seemed my words brought him out of his trance and he looked at me as if he hadn't realized I was there. I felt a slight pang of guilt at disrupting his memories of whatever had been happening the day that picture had been taken.

At his nod, I headed back to the hall and up the stairs to my room at the end of the hallway. My room--hidden behind a door littered with band flyers and pictures of my friends--was beyond messy. I had a pile of clothes in front of my closet, and I wasn't sure of which were clean and which were dirty, my computer desk held much more than a monitor and keyboard, but cups full of soda and plates with half eaten pieces of pizza on them. My bed wasn't made and half of it was covered with my school books, notebooks, pens and magazines with cut out pictures. My bookshelf was only half-filled, more of a place to keep more trash than a necessity.

The only place that was remotely cleared off was the area around my guitar stand. The sleek black instrument was sitting right where I had left it when I had left for school this morning. It was a nice reminder of the work it had taken to pay for it last year.

I crossed the room with practiced ease and snatched the guitar up by it's neck, pulling the pick out from between the strings and flipping on my amp. I sat down on my bed and played a chord, arranging my fingers almost effortlessly. I smiled at the sound, loving the voice of the guitar and switched my fingers to play another chord, this one coming out as beautifully as the first.

I played for awhile, getting lost in the new song I had written last night. I sang the lyrics, knowing my voice wasn't the best but not really caring because no one was around to laugh at me. Eventually the song ended and I found I liked it even more today than I had last night, it really stuck and I was happy that I finally found something that worked, I had been working on it for a long time.

After pushing the pick back between the strings to keep from loosing it, I set the guitar back in it's stand. I looked back over at my bed, where my homework was strewn across the mattress and the thought of trigonometry made my insides churn to the point where I decided it was better if I just waited until tomorrow and got the answers from one of my friends. Someone will have it done tomorrow morning, I knew quite a few people I could cheat from.

With that decision made I turned and walked to my computer desk, stepping over the many objects that could hurt me along the way, and dropped into my swivel chair while signing into my favorite chat room. I found Shikamaru, Chouji, and Neji were already on.

**Gtrfreak has entered**

**Flywithwings: hey man**

**Gtrfreak: Hey Chou, what's going on today, anything interesting?**

**Flywithwings: Shika and Hyuuga are fighting about their AP History project**

**Wasteoftime: We're not fighting…**

**Fateisdefinite: _I'm _not fighting**

**Wasteoftime: STFU**

**Fateisdefinite: only if you do it for me, Nara**

**Gtrfreak: didn't know you swang that way, Neji**

**Fateisdefinite: only for Nara**

**Wasteoftime: can we please stop talking about Neji and me as if we were a couple?**

**Flywithwings: Oh, why Shika? You're going to hurt poor Hyuuga's feelings with talk like that**

**Wasteoftime: I can hurt you Chou, if you'd rather**

**Gtrfreak: lol…okay boys, settle down**

**Fateisdefinite: where'd you learn to talk like that, Uzumaki, Iruka-sensei?**

**Gtrfreak: -shrug- gotta learn to keep you boys in line somehow, right?**

**Wasteoftime: Hey, Naruto, you were supposed to be checking out the new kid today weren't you? How'd that go?**

**Gtrfreak: guy's a freak! He wears all black and shit, and he's got to be the palest guy I've ever seen. Like there's no sun in Japan, or something…**

**Fateisdefinite: What's wrong with wearing all black?**

**Gtrfreak: nothing, if you don't scare everyone to pieces when you do**

**Wasteoftime: Are you suggesting Hyuuga doesn't scare everyone to pieces when he does?**

**Fateisdefinite: Do I scare you, Nara?**

**Flywithwings: you all are really starting to sound like a married couple now, it's weird…**

**Wasteoftime: talk to him, not me, I'm not the one doing it**

**Fateisdefinite: but you wish you were**

**Wasteoftime: -rolls eyes- all of you are annoying…anyway, what about the new kid**

**Gtrfreak: -laughter- Neji, you're great…yeah, anyway, his name is Sasuke…Uchiha, I think his last name is…he just moved here from Japan like a day ago, he'll be starting school next Monday, but he's only a junior…**

**Flywithwings: Fresh meat for my year…good, we'll have someone to gawk at for a few moments, that ought to have Kotetsu or Izumo glaring daggers at us for not paying attention…**

**Gtrfreak: If they aren't gawking at him too…**

**Wasteoftime??…do tell…**

**Gtrfreak: the guy's not exactly…_hard _on the eyes…if you know what I mean**

**Fateisdefinite: hmmm**

**Flywithwings: I agree with you Neji, I think someone's got a crush…**

**Gtrfreak: NO! I'm just saying that, from a guys stand point, he's not that bad to look at…**

**Wasteoftime: some competition, then?**

**Gtrfreak: Oh, definitely…I have a feeling we're going to have to put reigns on some of the girls…watch out for Tenten, Neji, we all know how much she puts out for dark and handsome boys.**

**Flywithwings: -laughter-**

**Fateisdefinite: Whatever, you guys are a waste of my time…I'll talk to you tomorrow, Uzumaki**

**Wasteoftime: Hey! That's my line!**

**Fateisdefinite has left.**

**Wasteoftime: So, is this new kid available, or does he have a girlfriend back home?**

**Gtrfreak: I don't know Shika, but I'll ask him if you're really interested**

**Wasteoftime: I was more thinking along the lines of what his girlfriend is going to feel like when she finds out that he's being bombarded with girls here…**

**Gtrfreak: I don't know…I'd feel bad for her though, he really is gorgeous**

**Wasteoftime: I think I'm with Chou here, you sound like you're in love with the boy**

**Gtrfreak: how? That boy only said two full sentences to me in the entire hour we were together…**

**Wasteoftime: counting words…yep he's definitely in love, Chou**

**Flywithwings: I knew it**

**Gtrfreak: very funny guys**

**Flywithwings: Eh, you know we're just teasing**

**Wasteoftime: We don't _really _think you're in love with the new guy**

**Flywithwings: unless there's something you'd like to share with us**

**Gtrfreak: you all are freaks**

**Wasteoftime: says the freak**

**Gtrfreak: whatever, you all have some issues…and I've got homework I've got to finish…so I'm gonna go…if any of you losers need me before tomorrow morning, call my cell, I may or may not pick up**

**Flywithwings: we were just teasing you Naruto…I'll talk to you later**

**Wasteoftime: _he _may have been just teasing you, but I'm not convinced you don't have something for this kid**

**Gtrfreak: says the guy who asked if he was available…I'll see you later guys**

**Wasteoftime: See you**

**Gtrfreak has left**

I sat back in my chair and thought over our conversation. Was it really possible that I did have a thing for this new kid? He _had _called him beautiful, but that had been because there was no other word in the English language that could describe him. Besides which, I had a girlfriend right now and I was very happy with her. I couldn't be falling for some guy I just met when I had a girlfriend. I was attracted to her, so didn't that mean I was straight.

"Sasuke looked like a girl, that's why you said he was beautiful. There's nothing wrong with thinking a guy is beautiful if he looks like a fucking woman." I said to myself in almost a whisper. I decided I was right, there was nothing wrong with me, there was something wrong with him. I mean, what sane high school guy went around looking like a girl? He'd had on tight clothing, which I was pretty sure had come from the girls side of the department stores anyway, and he was definitely as small as a girl. And that spike to his hair had definitely been womanly.

So no, there was nothing wrong with me. This Sasuke Uchiha kid would just have to stop confusing people of his gender. I wouldn't be the only one to find him attractive when he went to school on Monday.

The ringing of my cell phone brought me out of my thoughts and I practically jumped out of my chair at the sound. I swirled around in my chair to see the damnable thing lying innocently on my bed next to my book bag. I watched as it mocked me with it's ringing for a few more seconds before getting up and going to answer it. Checking the caller-ID first, I smiled when I realized who it was.

"Hey, babe, what's going on." I answered and flopped down onto the clean side of my bed.

"Nothing, I just realized you hadn't called yet, so I called you." Hinata said sweetly in her high-pitched voice.

"Oh, well…sorry I didn't call earlier, I had to do something for Iruka." I explained quickly.

"Oh, it's alright, I was actually just calling to say goodnight." At her words, I glanced over at my alarm clock.

11: 23 it read. It was later than I had thought, I hadn't realized I spent so much time online tonight.

"Okay, babe, I'll talk to you in the morning. You don't have to be at school early do you?" I asked and crossed my fingers in hope. If she had to be at school early, then that meant I had to go pick her up early.

"Nope, the project's all done, Shino, Kiba and I got it done earlier today." I stopped holding my breath.

"That's great, well, I'll be there at the regular time then." I said and listened to her say that was fine and tell me she loved me. "I love you too. Goodnight."

I hung up the phone and set it on my nightstand just as someone came knocking on my door. I waited a few seconds for Iruka to just come in. He was big on privacy, but even bigger on catching kids doing things they weren't supposed to be doing. There had been plenty of occasions he had walked in on Hinata and me making out on my bed, something that was strictly forbidden because we weren't where he could see us.

He had this method of knocking and waiting a few seconds so we could get the shit scared out of us for almost being caught and then actually catching us by opening the door before we were really able to stop what we were doing.

"Hey, I was coming in to tell you that it's getting kind of late, so you may want to think about getting to sleep soon." He said, poking his into my room instead of actually coming all the way inside.

"Okay, I was just thinking the same thing, actually, I'm pretty tired tonight." I replied truthfully. I yawned to put emphasis on my words.

"Alright, well, I'll see you in the morning, then." He nodded before ducking out of my room and walking down the hall to his own bedroom. I could tell he was still feeling bad about earlier, about what we'd argued about.

I laid back on my bed, not even bothering to get undressed. If I got uncomfortable later I'd just take off my jeans and throw them over the bed. I was too tired now to really worry about it. I glanced at my alarm clock again to discover it was eleven-thirty. I was usually already snoring away on nights after I had school. School had always tired me out, and I was glad that my friends felt the same way. We'd long since agreed it was a bad idea to do anything on Friday nights, due to the fact that over half of us were falling asleep in the middle of what we were doing.

So I let my mind wander as I laid on my bed that night. My thoughts were never very profound before I went to sleep, but that night it seemed they only wanted to focus on one thing.

And that one thing would never leave my mind again.

* * *

**Note: Alright, well, I sort of have this idea, and sort of know where I'm going with this. Anyway, I know the first chapter's kinda boring, but that happens with fics that are going to be long and need character development. I'd like to hear from you guys and feedback does keep updates coming in quicker. Anyway, I love you all and I'm looking forward to hearing from you guys!**

**--Jaide**


	2. Crush

**Note: Oh, wow, I don't think I've updated this quickly ever in my entire life. I guess that's a good thing…especially for those who wanted me to update….lol…oh wow, I'm a little slap happy right now. I'm gonna warn you all now, I haven't had sleep in close to 72 hours and I don't think I could stay awake long enough to reread even a sentence. So this isn't edited. If there are any horrible mistakes please tell me.**

**Disclaimer: I didn't do this in the last chapter, but the standard disclaimer applies and this is the last time you're going to see it in this fic.**

**Warnings: There's tobacco use and language and a little bit of sexual harassment…if that's what you guys think it is**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter 2: Crush

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: York High School**

**Day: 4, Monday, October 30**

It was all so familiar, standing outside the principal's office, waiting for someone to notice me so I could get my schedule and go on about my day. It was six o'clock in the morning, an hour before most of the other students showed up for classes, but I had been told to come here early for a sort of…tour of the school.

I didn't understand it myself. The school seemed pretty much the same as any other high school I'd gone to. The halls were lined with lockers in this ugly green-gray color that seemed to be following me around this godforsaken town. The classrooms were numbered above the doors and they had a pattern to them that I had already picked up on. It all seemed pretty straight forward, all I need was my schedule so I knew where to go and I would make it through the day. But as it seemed, York High School had a policy for new kids, either that or Kakashi had something to do with it.

I turned to the doors of the main office when they were swung open and two people came into the room. I narrowed my eyes in recognition, knowing this was who I had been waiting for.

Oh yes, Kakashi definitely had something to do with this.

"Oh, hello Sasuke," the man, Iruka, said as he walked in and set a box down on the counter. Naruto lagged behind him, not speaking and looking like he had just gotten up. "I'm sorry it took me so long getting here, I needed some help bringing in some stuff and _someone _was a little grumpy this morning."

He glanced pointedly at Naruto who ignored him and set down another, slightly larger, box on the counter next to the other one. He leaned against the counter then and laid his head down on his arms, closing his eyes and looking everything like he was going to go back to sleep standing there.

"Anyway," Iruka shook his head and moved behind the counter as I stood up, he sat at a large mahogany desk and sifted through some papers. I stood next to Naruto with my arms up on the counter, waiting for him to find whatever he was looking for. A moment later he came up and set down some forms I supposed I was supposed to fill out. Upon further investigation, I found they were actually for Kakashi, not me. Iruka continued speaking. "Take these home and have them filled out, I would like to have them back by tomorrow if it's at all possible, but I know you guys are just settling in, so try to have them back as soon as possible."

I just nodded and took the papers to place in my messenger bag hanging from my shoulder. When I looked back up, I saw that Iruka had set my schedule down in front of me.

"I made sure to keep your classes pretty much the same as they were when you were in Japan. We don't offer French VI, so I went ahead and put you in the French class that most of the kids in your class are taking, which is French III-Honors. It said in your transcript that you were in the Orchestra in your last school, so I talked to our Orchestra teacher here, and she said that you would probably have to do an audition but not to worry."

I nodded again, looking over the schedule and finding that, while it didn't have as many advanced classes as my old one had, it was adequate enough and I would have to live with it. My first class would be Creative Writing, one of my favorites, and I cheered up a little knowing that at least the beginning of my day would be pleasant enough.

"I know the building can be a little confusing at first, that's the other reason I brought Naruto with me this morning. I'm gonna have him show you around today, since most of his classes are the same as yours. He knows the school pretty well and I've asked him in the not-so-nicest way to keep you out of trouble today. Isn't that right, Naruto?"

"Hmm." Is all the sleepy reply Naruto seemed to be willing to give him. The blonde lifted his head off the counter, glanced at me, and pushed himself away before walking out of the office and motioning for me to follow.

"Well, that's all. If Naruto says anything rude, don't take it personally, I got him up early and he is not a morning person at all." Iruka said and I smile slightly at him. I turned to walk out the door and follow Naruto around the school building for the next half-hour before school started.

Iruka went back to his desk as I walked out of the office and joined Naruto in the hall. I looked him up and down, taking in his features more closely than I had yesterday. He didn't seem like anything special, sort of a jock type that probably played sports and was friends with all the teachers. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and yawning. His posture was awful it seemed, as he was slightly slouched over in an almost stoner-like position. However, that could have been because he was still trying to wake up.

He wore a gray thermal long-sleeved shirt and dark khaki shorts and flip-flops. His hair was messy in a way that told me it was never able to lay flat on it owns and a sandy blonde that I hadn't seen anyone have in Japan. His skin was darker than my own, and I could tell that too was natural. If I had had to say anything about his looks I would have said that he wasn't gorgeous, but still attractive.

"What are you staring at, bastard?" He asked me a moment later, pulling me out of my trance. I shook my head slightly, but didn't give him a real answer.

"Alright, well," he continued and started walking down the hall and I followed, a little subdued. I really didn't want to be here with him, the principal's son, and having a tour of the school I was expected to attend until I graduated and was able to be on my own.

We walked for awhile, Naruto pointing out different classrooms and monuments I should know about. I didn't speak, just nodded and followed. It wasn't until we got to the commons upstairs that he stopped and looked at me. He was frowning and his eyes were a lot sharper than they had been earlier.

"You know, I did have plans this morning. I was supposed to go pick up my girlfriend for breakfast and I was going to sleep in a little. I have a life, and I don't know if that means anything to you. But if you weren't going to listen to me through this whole damn uber-tour then you could have said something, and I wouldn't have wasted my time." He said quickly.

I raised an eyebrow, "No one said you had to show me around."

He rolled his eyes and I found I was enjoying annoying him more than I should have.

"Okay, smart-ass…" He turned and walked into the commons, the large room already filled with students talking to their friends, eating breakfast, or finishing up last minute homework.

I smirked while following him over to a large table with lots of people surrounding it. They all greeted him warmly, and he smiled at them all. I found he looked a lot better when he smiled, it brightened up his face and reminded me of some of my friends I used to have back in Japan.

"Who's the new kid?" I heard the question through the rest of the chattering and Naruto turned to look at me with a surprised expression.

"Uhm…hey guys this is Sasuke, he just moved here from Japan." He said and I felt all the eyes instantly focus on me. I nodded to them all. Some of them looked friendly, especially the girls, and some of them looked a little cautious, but none looked at me with pure disgust, which I guessed was a good enough start.

Before anyone could intiate any kind of welcome toward me though, the bell rang and I found I was soon in the middle of an almost frightening whirlwind of students and bags and chairs and tables. It was hard to get situated and I pulled out my schedule once more.

My first period was room 12 E, but I wasn't sure where exactly in the school I was at this moment. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the tour Naruto had given me, because at least then I could have picked up on which side of the school I was in.

"Thinking you should have paid more attention?" I jumped slightly at the voice in my ear. It was familiar but I still have to look to see who it is.

Naruto was standing next to me, smirking at my face that probably showed just how caught off guard I was feeling. I felt my face flush, something that didn't happen often, and wondered how he was able to tell exactly what I _had been_ thinking about. I just nodded again. He nodded as well, seeming to feel a little more sympathetic now than before.

"What's you're first period?" He asked and I handed over my schedule. He ran his eyes over the list of my classes. "Creative writing. Good, it's not far from my Literature class. All the English classes are in the East hall, that's what the E next to the room number means."

I didn't tell him that I knew what the damned E meant. He motioned for me to follow again and I couldn't help but start to feel like a dog on a leash at the moment, following obediently after the boy that had found me lost in the park. I hitched my bag further on my shoulder and walked swiftly after Naruto out the common's doors and down a flight of stairs.

"You know, talking a little bit wouldn't kill you." He said to me when we were well on our way to the opposite side of the school building.

I really didn't know what was wrong with me, but I felt myself blush again. I wanted to get away from this guy. I wasn't normally easily embarrassed, but he just kept making me feel like I should do something different than I already was.

He laughed at my lack of response and I looked at him again, finding myself liking his smile more and more every time I saw it. I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts. I wasn't actually starting to like this guy, he was annoying and…

"Here we are." He said and stopped in front of a class that had the number 12 E above the door.

"Thanks." I said and smiled a little at him.

"Oh my god, he does have a voice." Naruto laughed and I found myself chuckling as well. "Well, I'm going a little ways down the hall. I'll come here after class so I can make sure you can get to your next class. 'ruka wasn't kidding when he said that this school is confusing. It usually takes an entire week for the freshmen to figure out where exactly where they have to go. I'm a senior, so some of our classes are different, but we seem to have pretty similar schedules."

"Okay," I bit the inside of my lip and watched him walk down the hall before turning and walking into my own classroom.

--

--

I walked into the locker room outside the gymnasium and set down my bag next to one of the benches. It was fifth period and I was able to sit out for PE today because it was my first day here. The class was almost over and I'd come in here on the pretense that I was going to the bathroom. The truth was, I just couldn't stand to sit there and watch the other kids in my class run a circle around the gym anymore. That was only so interesting, and I had forgotten to bring a book to school today. An action I was regretting immensely.

I pulled out my notebook and a pen from my bag, coloring a sketch I had drawn on the front of the pad earlier today. I shaded in the small upside-down heart before flipping to a new page and jotting down the lines I had come up in my head while sitting on the hard benches of the bleachers in the gym.

_**You're alone now**_

_**Far from those who thought they knew**_

_**Who you are and why**_

_**Your heart aches**_

_**For them to understand**_

_**Just once you let the tears fall**_

_**An exemplum of just how weak**_

_**You are and…**_

_**This is how a heart breaks**_

_**You cling to**_

_**Those small fragments of a broken mind**_

_**And you question yourself over**_

_**And over you speak the mantra**_

'_**I can't do this' or**_

_**Maybe it's not that at all**_

_**You frighten even your own blood that spills..**_

_**This is how a heart breaks**_

_**I wanted to**_

_**Be there to reassure you of just how beautiful**_

_**You are just so beautiful**_

_**But you wouldn't believe me**_

_**Would you hear me?**_

_**I speak the mantra also**_

'_**come back to me' or**_

_**Die alone…**_

_**And…**_

_**This is how a heart breaks**_

I didn't smile at my work, and I wasn't really all that proud of it. It wasn't the best song I'd written, but it would do for now. I'd have to go home and change it around a little to figure out what I wanted to do with it. I was biting my lip the whole time I was writing and could now taste blood in my mouth. I hadn't realized I was that deep in thought.

I had to admit though, I thought the feeling in this song did reflect well some of the emotions I had been feeling recently. I was missing my home, missing my friends. Friends I would never see again. And most of all I was missing my brother. There was so much I wanted to talk to him about, so much I hadn't been able to say the last time we saw each other. I was angry with him, but I think I was more angry with myself for still loving him and still wanting to see him.

I had had a dream about him last night, one where we were together again. Where I was able to touch him again, to sleep next to him like I had a long time ago. He was speaking to me, but I hadn't been able to hear what he was saying. I was just so content to be there, with him, and have all of our past, all of the bad things disappear.

But then I had woken up and I was in an unfamiliar room, on an unfamiliar bed, and I was breathing in an unfamiliar scent. I hadn't cried when I found I was still in America, still in my new house, but it had been forever since I had cried last so it wasn't really surprising. What was surprising was how much I wanted to cry now.

I was too lost in thought to hear the door of the locker room open and the footsteps of another person.

"I didn't think I was going to be lucky enough to see you again today."

My head snapped up at the sound of a voice I didn't recognize and I found myself staring into eyes that were a startlingly bright green. He was leaning against one of the lockers with his arms across his chest and smirking. Hair, that was too red to be natural, covered his head in the same messy way Naruto's did and coal marked his eyes in thick, perfect lines.

"What?" I asked, not really sure what he was talking about. I vaguely remembered seeing him in my Pre-calculus class second period, but the two of us didn't even speak to each other.

I jumped slightly when he moved closer and sat down on the bench next to me. He seemed to measure me up before catching my eyes with his own. He raise one delicate nearly-nonexistent eyebrow.

"Name's Gaara." He said and held his hand out for me to shake.

"Sasuke…" I spoke with an even tone, not letting this Gaara kid know that he was kind of freaking me out. I took his hand and shook it once, pulling away almost instantly, but he didn't let me go that easily. He kept hold of my hand and raised his other to push my bangs out of my eyes. I flinched as the soft pads of his fingers brushed against my neck.

"You're adorable, Sasuke, beautiful--"

"We'd really like him to stay that way, Subaku, so you may want to take a step back."

Both Gaara and I turned to the door at the sound of Naruto's words. He was standing right inside the locker room, sweating from running and looking every bit as intimidating as the boy who held my hand. Neji and Kiba, two other guys I'd met in classes today through the blonde, were standing behind him.

"I was just teasing him, Uzumaki, new kids need initiation, you know." Gaara let go of my hand and stood up, taking a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. He placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a long drag before blowing smoke into the air.

I, myself, suffered from a nicotine addiction and the sight of the cigarette made me bite my lip again. It had been close to five hours since I smoked last, not having anyway of going outside. I'd have to remember where this locker room is and see if I had enough time between classes to smoke.

"Just leave, Subaku, don't you have some little kid to scare or something?" Naruto asked while slipping his shirt off and walking over to his locker and opening it to get his clothes.

"Wouldn't you like to know." Gaara said and smashed the butt of his cigarette on the wall behind him. "Well, boys, I'll be seeing you."

He bent down to be eye level with me and took my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "And I'll _watching _you, Sexy." With that he smashed our lips together for a moment before Naruto grabbed the back of his collar and shoved him away. I watched, amazed, as Gaara laughed all the way out the locker room door.

"You alright, man?" Naruto asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I nodded and frowned.

"Is he always like that?" I asked and turned back to the blonde while he was pulling his gray shirt on once more. He ran his hand through his hair, effectively mussing it even more than it already had been. I found myself liking the way his hair was able to stick straight up like that.

"He's creepy, alright," Naruto answered and slipped his feet into this flip-flops, "but you're special, he's usually not so touchy-feely."

"Fun." I said and stood up to follow Neji, Kiba, and Naruto out the door and down the hall to the commons.

--

--

**POV: Naruto Uzumaki**

**Location: York High School, Media Center**

**Day: 4, Monday, October 30**

The media center was always nearly full during sixth period because that was when most people had their study halls. I was lucky to get to actually sit down at one of the computers next to Neji. We were actually supposed to me in our Music Theory class, but we had gotten our last project done early and had some free time. It was nice having classes with Neji sometimes; he usually kept me on top of things and we worked well together.

**Gtrfreak has entered**

**Fateisdefinite has entered**

**Gtrfreak: Okay, so was it just me, or was Gaara a little extra…friendly today**

**Fateisdefinite: It was just you, I saw no friendliness, it was only creepy**

**Gtrfreak: I don't know, he's creepy all the fucking time**

**Fateisdefinite: Very true**

**Gtrfreak: So, how do you like Sasuke?**

**Fateisdefinite: He's alright, I guess…a little shy, I think**

**Gtrfreak: yeah, but he's been talking to me a little more than he did yesterday…I think he's having a hard time adjusting to the new school**

**Fateisdefinite: That's likely…you seemed to have changed your opinion of him today though**

**Gtrfreak: He's not that bad when he actually acknowledges you**

**Fateisdefinite: Aww…you just wanted to have your love acknowledged**

**Gtrfreak: dumb ass…at least Sasuke treats me like I'm a human being…Tenten was pretty harsh today at lunch**

**Fateisdefinite: I don't know what's wrong with her…she's been like that since last weekend**

**Gtrfreak: That sucks**

**Prettypink has entered**

**Gtrfreak: Hey Sakura**

**Fateisdefinite: Where are you?**

**Prettypink: I'm sitting in the choir office listening to Ms. Kurenai audition Sasuke**

**Gtrfreak: He any good?**

**Prettypink: Very good, actually**

**Fateisdefinite: What does he play?**

**Prettypink: Violin**

**Fateisdefinite: see Uzumaki, your crush plays strings like you**

**Prettypink: Crush?**

**Gtrfreak: he's kidding**

**Prettypink: aww…naruto has a crush on the new guy…I don't blame you, he's hott**

**Gtrfreak: you're a girl**

**Prettypink: so**

**Fateisdefinite: you said he was beautiful earlier**

**Prettypink: maybe I should go tell him…oh! This is soooo cute!**

**Gtrfreak: you tell Sasuke that I think he's beautiful and I'll pull all your newly dyed hair out one at a time…besides, I have a girlfriend, remember, Neji, you're cousin?**

**Fateisdefinite: I can't blame you for you're sexual preferences…and if you're not dating my cousin, you're not touching her…I don't mind at all**

**Prettypink: -laughter-**

**Gtrfreak: whatever, we'd better go cause the bell's about to ring**

**Fateisdefinite: yeah, you need to go break up with Hinata before you cheat on her with Sasuke**

**Prettypink: I see her in my next class if you'd like me to do it for you **

**Gtrfreak: You all really want me to go out with this guy don't you**

**Prettypink: -wink-**

**Fateisdefinite: We're only helping the natural laws of nature along**

**Gtrfreak: -shakes head-**

**Gtrfreak has left**

**Fateisdefinite has left**

**Prettypink has left**

**Note: Thank you all for reviewing the last chapter. Feedback makes me update quicker!**


	3. Emergency

**Note: Oh my god, I really do not believe this. I'm updating again…and it's the same story, not a new one. I want to thank all of you who read the last chapter and especially those who reviewed. I really am excited about this story and I have a lot of ideas. I hope this chapter is as exciting as the last have been. **

**Warnings: Language warning, but you're probably pretty used to that. Some mention of shonen-ai, but again something you're probably used to from me.**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.

* * *

**

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter 3: Emergency

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Hatake-uchiha residence**

**Day: 4, Monday, October 30**

I was almost always home before Kakashi back when we were living in Japan. He worked as a social worker in the hospital that was down the road from our apartment and he was usually working until late into the evening. I had always looked forward to those few hours alone after school to do homework and other things without an adult breathing down my neck.

So it was to my surprise that I walked in the house today to see Kakashi waiting for me in the foyer. He was leaning in the doorway on the bottom stair, a cup of what I imagined to be tea in his hands and his head cocked to one side. He was still in his flannel pajama pants and shirtless, seeming like he'd only gotten up a few minutes before I'd come in the door. Without even a hello, I asked him if my suspicions were true.

"I've been awake for awhile, but I didn't go anywhere today," he explained, shrugging his shoulder and pushing himself off the wall to walk with me into the kitchen. "Am I not allowed to have a lazy day."

I shrugged too, not really wanting to argue with him about something so trivial. He and I didn't always get along, and most of the time I felt like he provoked me into fighting with him, but I wasn't going to take the bait today. My day wasn't as bad as I'd thought it was going to be.

"So, how was school, Rave?" He asked me, using the shortened version of my nickname, Raven. I raised an eyebrow at him, warning him to call me that again, though he and I both knew it didn't really bother me.

"It was school." I said, knowing that the typical answer would annoy him, but he would push the subject.

He nodded and leaned against the counter as I got a glass down from the cupboard and filled it with water, sipping the clear liquid and turning back to him a moment later.

"Nothing exciting happened? You didn't meet anyone?" He pressed and I shook my head meeting his eyes and smiling slightly. He chuckled and muttered something that sounded like "teenagers" and walked back to the stairs. "I'm doing some work in my room. Come get me if you need me."

I didn't answer him but I didn't need to. He and I had lived in this sort of limited conversation type of existence for as long as I could remember. It wasn't that we had nothing to say to one another, it was just that we didn't really need to say anything to communicate. I guess we had a pretty decent relationship. It could have been worse.

I set the glass down on the counter, not bothering to move it five more inches and into the actual sink. I'd have to do it later anyway, as it was my turn to do dishes tonight.

After slinging my bag further up on my shoulder so it wouldn't fall off, I walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs too. My room was at the end of the hall and I had to pass Kakashi's room in order to get to it. I was glad he had his door closed because I was really feeling out of sorts with him home this early. I just wanted to have some privacy for a little while. So I breathed easier as I walked by his closed door and into my own room.

Having had all weekend to unpack my things had been really nice, because my room seemed a little less bare today. I set my bag down on my bed, the contents spilling out, but I wasn't worried about it. I wasn't going to do homework just yet, not that I had a lot of it anyway. Teachers were always easy on new kids, and for the first time in my life I was thankful for that. I needed some time to think, needed some time to breathe. The day hadn't been bad, but it hadn't been great either.

I should have been used to it. My life wasn't great. But, gods, it had been getting so much better back home. Everything had been getting so much more bearable. I would have almost gone so far as to say that I had been happy there. Or, at least, on my way to being happy there. It didn't seem fair, that I would be taken away from there when I had finally started showing progress. It seemed like some sort of sick joke the psychologists kept playing on me. Making me comfortable somewhere and then move me away from anything that was starting to make sense to me. Because things had finally started to make sense.

I rubbed at the itchiness in my eyes left over from crying earlier. I remembered that feeling from my past, the constant itchiness and exhaustion from crying. I hadn't thought I'd have to feel it ever again. I'd thought I'd been done crying. Because there was nothing left to cry about. What had been done was done and there was no use thinking about it, no use crying about it.

But there was something about this place that had caught me off guard. There was something about these people, something about this house. It made me feel vulnerable.

My mind went back to today during fifth period, when Gaara had approached me and touched me. He left a tingling where his fingers had been and a burning where he had placed his lips for those few seconds. I was pretty used to people hitting on me. I wasn't naïve and I wasn't deaf. I knew what people said about me, that I was beautiful. Gaara hadn't been the first to do something like that. And I was fairly sure he wouldn't be the last.

I had gotten used to such treatment at my old school. Older boys pushing me into corners and doing things much worse than brushing fingers across my face and kissing me goodbye. I was sixteen years old and I knew exactly what they all had wanted. But I wasn't one to just give in, and I fought and won every time. But this time…there had been something about Gaara that I hadn't wanted to stop. He had been intimidating, yes, but I had wanted to see how far he would have gone. How far would someone go with a boy on his first day there. And how quickly could I ruin my reputation here. How quickly would it be before everyone hated me.

But no one had ever shown _hate _towards me. There had never been anything but the endearing looks of the girls in my classes and the lustful stares I got from the others. I was respected, even here where no one knew me.

So maybe that was why Naruto had snagged my interest. Last Friday, when we had walked down to the beach he had done what everyone else did, he stared. But today, when he had shown me around the school and I hadn't been very friendly he had turned and actually yelled at me, showed me something other than admiration. He had told me what he really thought, had called me a bastard. And for some odd reason, I'd liked it. I'd liked knowing I could get under someone's skin in a way that didn't have them crawling off to a bathroom to relieve some tension in their pants. It had felt good to annoy someone, finally, bother someone without having them come on to me later.

And then he was introducing me to his friends, treating me somewhat like a burden but doing so jokingly. He hadn't really minded me being there, but he wasn't overly joyful at having me tag along. He treated me like…well…like a friend.

The whole thing had interested me. It hadn't left me feeling all warm and fuzzy like I supposed it should have, but it had made me feel almost comfortable in a place that I felt I would never get used to.

I shook my head to dismiss those thoughts; I would think about it later. Right now, all I wanted to do was relax. I didn't have a lot of work to do and I didn't have many chores around the house either since we'd just moved in. So I settled on sitting in my computer chair and signing into my instant messenger.

I smiled when I saw the only person online right now. I clicked on his name and typed my first message.

**SelflessXsuicide: hey, I'm missing you already**

**Hidethedrugs: I'm missing you too, how was your first day?**

**SelflessXsuicide: It was alright, I guess…I have some good classes and people are friendly enough**

**Hidethedrugs: That's good, what classes are you taking?**

**SelflessXsuicide: I have creative writing first period and Orchestra sixth, other than that their pretty much the same thing I was taking back home…only I was stuck back in French III**

**Hidethedrugs: Why? You're really good at French**

**SelflessXsuicide: It's because they don't have French VI and all the juniors taking French are in French III, Iruka just wanted me to be able to take it for the next two years…**

**Hidethedrugs: Iruka?**

**SelflessXsuicide: Yeah, he's the principal**

**Hidethedrugs: you're on a first name basis with your principal? -laughter- wow, and I thought you were a teachers pet back home**

**SelflessXsuicide: Yeah, well I met him and his son, Naruto, the first day Kashi and I moved in**

**Hidethedrugs: Naruto, huh? Am I looking at some competition?**

**SelflessXsuicide: You know you're not. I wouldn't leave you to go out with some kid I just met…**

**Hidethedrugs: I know, I'm just messing with you…**

**SelflessXsuicide: Yeah, but even if I was attracted to him, I couldn't do anything, he's got a girlfriend…**

**Hidethedrugs: wouldn't be the first time you've made someone realize their sexuality…**

**SelflessXsuicide: Who are you talking about? You? Because I'm fairly certain you knew you were gay before you and I started dating…**

**Hidethedrugs: not me, then…but I remember _everyone_ back at your old school was looking at you**

**SelflessXsuicide: yeah, well, you don't have to worry about that…I couldn't do that to you**

**Hidethedrugs: Sasuke?**

**SelflessXsuicide: hmm?**

**Hidethedrugs: are you really okay? I mean, you seem a little…I don't know…down…errr…more than usual**

**SelflessXsuicide: Yeah, I'm just…adjusting to the new house. It smells different here. It feels different here too…I don't really like it**

**Hidethedrugs: You are still taking your meds, right?**

**SelflessXsuicide: YES! Why is everyone so worried about me not taking my meds…Kakashi was talking to me about it yesterday too…what would be _so _bad about me not taking them anyway…**

**Hidethedrugs: You may not see it, but they do help. You were a lot more depressed before you were put on them…I just don't want you doing something stupid…I don't want to lose you…**

**SelflessXsuicide: more so than you already have?**

**Hidethedrugs: Sasuke…-sigh-…listen to me, this distance between us is nothing…I'm not angry at you for moving, it wasn't your fault…I know that, but I don't think you do…I think you're worried about losing me…and I'm telling you right now, that I'll always be here, no matter what, okay?**

**SelflessXsuicide: yeah…I just…I really miss you**

**Hidethedrugs: I miss you too…but that will get better, we'll see each other again, I promise**

**SelflessXsuicide: okay**

**Hidethedrugs: My roommate and I are going to the library to write some of our research paper…I'll talk to you later okay?**

**SelflessXsuicide: okay…but isn't it a little late for you to be going to the library**

**Hidethedrugs: I'm a procrastinator, what can I say?**

**SelflessXsuicide: -laughter- okay**

**Hidethedrugs: I love you**

**SelflessXsuicide: I love you **

I signed back off and sat back in my chair, thinking about this one and previous conversations I'd had with my boyfriend, Kabuto, since I'd found out that I was moving. He had been really supportive, saying that maybe it was a good idea for me to get out of Japan, away from the things that had happened. I had gotten angry at him, thinking he was just taking Kakashi's side and ganging up on me. However, he maintained his views on the whole thing, saying that it wasn't my fault, saying that there had to be other reasons behind the move.

Kabuto and I had been going out for almost a year, things had been good between us. He had left to go to college this summer but we had gotten through that. That distance hadn't seemed substantial, it hadn't seemed all that far. But now, that I was in a whole different country, I felt like we would never see each other again, despite what he promised me.

Because, like I said earlier, I wasn't naïve. I was a junior in high school dating a college student. I knew it wasn't meant to be forever. But gods, the last year had seemed to go by so quickly. And I feel like we hadn't really been able to love each other long enough.

And now he was teasing me about liking other people here and cheating on him. I didn't want him thinking those things about me. I didn't want him to think that just because we were miles apart, that I would just forget him.

But hadn't that been what I'd been doing earlier. When I hadn't pulled completely away from Gaara, when I'd let my eyes linger a little too long on Naruto's smile? Kabuto hadn't even crossed my mind when I'd been around those other two. And they had been so much closer.

It would be easy for me to start seeing someone here. The guys weren't completely repulsive, and Gaara had shown me that they were just as interested in me here as they had been back home. And here I didn't have Kabuto to claim me as his own. I had no one to stop me from giving into the redhead that had kissed me today in the locker room.

I jumped when I heard a knock at my door turning to glare at it for a moment before calling out to Kakashi that he could come in.

But it wasn't Kakashi that opened my door and stepped into my new and unfamiliar room.

"Let's go, bastard, there's these new shoes at the mall that I want to get and my car's still running."

* * *

**POV: Naruto Uzumaki**

**Location: York High School, Cafeteria**

**Day: 7, Thursday, November 2**

"Are you going to eat anything?" I asked Sasuke as I sat down next to him at our lunch table. He looked up from his notebook long enough to make eye contact with me and shake his head, before going right back to writing. I quirked an eyebrow at his odd behavior, the boy never seemed to eat anything. Not even when we had gone places after school and I had gotten hungry. I was starting to think he had some kind of eating disorder.

"What are you writing?" I knew I was bothering him, but I didn't really care. He hadn't really said much to me all day today and I knew it wasn't just because he wasn't very talkative.

When I had picked him up on Monday night and we had gone to hang out in the mall, he had started opening up. I could tell that he wasn't used to just going places with friends and his lack of human contact wasn't exactly a secret.

"Nothing." He said, not lifting his head and not bothering to pause is ipod to actually engage in a conversation. I wanted to leave him to his writing, as I'd picked up on the fact that it was an outlet for him pretty easily--he never went anywhere without it.

"Nothing?" But damn my mouth and its complete inability to listen to my brain.

Sasuke didn't answer me and I was quickly getting annoyed. I hadn't done anything wrong to him all day. So why did he all of a sudden not want to speak to me? I had thought the two of us were actually become friends--damn Iruka--but now he wasn't even acknowledging me.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked loudly, my brow furrowed in frustration. I didn't care if some of the other people at our table were watching me now, I wanted him to at least say something.

He closed his notebook with a snap and leveled me with his deep gray eyes and seemed to stare at me for a long time. Then he turned away and leaned back in his chair. He still didn't say anything.

"So that's just it? You're just gonna sit there and not speak to me for the rest of the day? What did _I _do to make you act like such an ass?" I just couldn't leave him alone. I didn't know why, but I just felt like I had to get him to talk to me. Normally I wasn't this pushy. If people wanted to be in a bad mood and not talk to me I could do the same thing and not have a care in the world. So why was it so different with him?

"Did it ever occur to you that the universe didn't revolve around you?" He said and looked at me again. We stared at each other some more--something I've noticed we both did a lot--before he sighed heavily and visibly softened, his shoulders relaxing and his frown falling. I noticed then how tired he looked. "I'm sorry…" he muttered.

"Sorry about what?" I asked and relaxed too, turning in my seat to see him better.

"I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm just…really tired and not feeling very well today." He said, but I only half believed him. There was something else bothering him, I could tell, but I knew that if I pushed the subject he would probably just isolate himself even more.

That was another thing I'd picked up on while we'd been spending time together. Sasuke gave you as little information about himself as possible and if you pushed for more, he'd stop giving you anything all together. It made me wonder how he had gotten that way, and if we'd ever have a conversation where I wasn't the only one talking.

"Got your panties in a twist, Uchiha?" Neji said and was rewarded with nothing but a glare. Before the Hyuuga could come up with another smart retort the bell was ringing and we were all standing from our chairs. I took one last sip from my coke before throwing it away in the trash can beside the vending machines along with the remainder of my lunch. I was still hungry, talking to Sasuke had taken up more time than I should have let it. But now Kiba, Neji, Sasuke and I were off to the gym where I was hoping to sweat out some of my frustration.

We filed into the locker room and changed quickly, basketball shorts and t-shirts. I'd noticed a few days ago that Sasuke wore long-sleeves even when we were doing things like endurance runs and I thought it was a little strange, but I didn't ask him about it. I knew he wouldn't tell me even if I did.

"Alright boys, line up." Anko said as we walked into the gym. I followed Sasuke to the opposite end of the room and stood beside him on the line. I glanced down at him, but he didn't look back up at me, just stared straight ahead, waiting for Anko to assign us whatever it was we were supposed to be doing today.

"Okay, guys," She continued in a voice that was much deeper than any woman's should be. It always amazed me how we got stuck with a female gym teacher. Not that she was bad, but I thought it odd that we were taught by Anko while the girls were taught by Gai. "we've graduated out of our endurance training for now and we're moving on to team activities. I want everything to be fair, you hear, keep it clean. The first game we're going to play is basketball. I'll let you pick you're teams now, but if things get out of hand then I'll start picking them for you. Got it?"

I nodded and shifted a little on my feet. I loved playing team sports in gym. It got me pumped much more than any endurance training did, I had much more fun doing this kind of thing that running around a track all period. I had to admit, I was a little competitive.

"Alright, Uzumaki, you're blue," She said, throwing me a blue jersey and handing me the bag that contained the rest of them, "Hyuuga, you're red."

Neji and I stood in front of the line of our classmates, sizing up the kids we would consider putting on our teams and others that we wouldn't want to be caught dead with. I looked over at the brunette and he smirked at me knowingly. Neji and I would always pick each other for teams and we knew Anko split us up on purpose. But it would be interesting playing against Neji. At least I knew I'd have some competition.

"Sasuke." I said and watched as a mixture of emotions floated over his face. Surprise to confusion. He walked slowly over to stand next to me again and I handed him a jersey that he put on over his long-sleeved t-shirt.

It didn't take long for our game to get started and my team instantly took the offense. We were playing well, Neji and Kiba being the only two to match my skill, but I had some pretty good people on my team as well. Sasuke was actually really good at it, which I think surprised him more than anyone else.

But I should have known that an all boys gym class couldn't get through an entire basketball game without some sort of injury.

I watched Sasuke run down the court, dribbling the ball and running fast, I would almost go as far as saying he looked happy. He was at the end of the court quickly and ready to take a shot--his fifth in the period--but he was stopped short by one of the kids on the other team. He pivoted on his right foot, trying to find some way around the blonde that was blocking his way and he was about to pass the ball to me--

"SASUKE!" I yelled as he fell to the floor, the blonde kid standing above him asking him if he was okay. He cradled his right arm close to his chest, the one that he had fallen on when the blonde had pushed him down. He wasn't crying, but he wasn't speaking to anyone either.

I sprang to his side, kneeling on my knees next to him. I hissed with sympathy.

"Sasuke, you okay? Sasuke?" I asked frantically, feeling the panic rise in my stomach making me nauseous.

"Uzumaki, get away!" I felt Anko's yell more than I heard it, and her strong grip on my shoulder wrenched me away from Sasuke. "Uchiha? What happened? What hurts?"

I watched worriedly as Sasuke opened his eyes again and pulled his arm away from his chest to show Anko. There was a collective groan of pain around the entire class when we saw the underside of Sasuke's arm.

Poking out of the fabric of his sleeve was part of the bone from his forearm. The nausea only grew worse for me.

"Oh, okay….umm…well, let's get you up…Uzumaki!" I didn't need to be called twice. I bent down to pull Sasuke's left arm around my shoulder and left him to his feet. He looked at me pathetically, tears along his lids. I let him go and he cradled his injured arm again. I turned back to Anko for further instructions. "Take him to the nurse, he's gonna need to go to the hospital to get that fixed, but I don't think it's bad enough to call the ambulance."

I nodded and followed Sasuke out of the gym, not any less worried than I had been the moment he hit the floor.

* * *

**Note: Poor Sasuke, his fourth day in school and he's hurt. But will this let Naruto figure out some of the things he wants to know about Sasuke? Or will it just confuse him with those damned feelings he's having for his new friend? Anyway, I hope this left you with some answers as well as some more questions! I know, I'm frustrating you with not letting you in on some aspects of Sasuke's life…but it will all come in time. So tell me what you think, I need feedback to keep me on top of things.**

**--Jaide**


	4. Passion

**Note: I'm sorry to all of you who have already read this chapter, but it got deleted so I had to put it back up. I should have the next chapter up soon! love you all!**

**Note: Hey, guys! Here's the new chapter. I don't really think there's anything _really _special in it. Kakashi-affection if that's what you call special. **

**Warnings: Language…some shonen-ai and an angsty Sasuke…but what are any of my stories without an angsty Sasuke?**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter 4: Passion

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: York High School**

**Day: 7, November 2**

The walls of the school were swimming around me by the time Naruto and I made it to the nurse's office. I felt like I was sinking into the floor and if I swerved a little to the left, I'd undoubtedly be swallowed by the row of lockers. I could feel the sweat on my brow, rolling down in beads that couldn't be very attractive, but I wasn't too worried about it. The nausea was enough to take away most of my care for anything. Anything but the pain in my arm.

So I staggered down the halls in a sort of blind pain, trying not to run into anything. Though I doubt I would have felt it even if I had. My lids grew heavy as exhaustion settled in. I knew I'd lost a lot of blood. Well, maybe not a lot, but enough to explain the weariness in my limbs. My sleeves were soaking up most of it so I don't think Anko had really known just how much had already poured from the wound. That and the fact that I had been really focused in holding it closed while I had been lying on the floor.

Now I had the limb dangling at my side, careful not to hit it on my leg while I walked. The sleeve was keeping it safe from the air that would have hurt it had it been hit with a cold draft. I really wanted to cradle it against my chest again, but I didn't have the energy to pull it up, nor the will to close my hand over it again. My palm was tingling and itched like hell and my wrist throbbed every time I moved.

Anko must have called down to the nurse's office while we were walking there because I didn't even get inside before I was bombarded with questions by a young nurse with black hair. She placed a hand on my back, ushered me into the room and set me on one of those brown leather cots.

She was saying things, worrying over my arm, but I wasn't listening to her. I could no longer focus on anything. Her voice was but a fleeting noise against the fuzziness muddling my brain. I knew I wouldn't stay awake for much longer, knew I should have insisted on staying in the gym until the paramedics could come and take me to the hospital. This wasn't the first time I had lost this much blood and I knew the results of doing things to make that blood flow faster. Like getting up and walking to the nurse's office.

As my vision blurred even more, I looked up to try and find a point I could focus on. Anything that would anchor me to the room for just a few more moments.

I found blue. A magnificent blue that seemed to rival that of the sky in Kyoto on a summer day. It crystallized, forming something solid and beautiful. A jewel of turquoise and sapphire, small chunks of diamond throughout. It was the sea and ice. It was the sky and clouds. It was calm, but worried. It was safety, but disaster. It held me captivated, but afraid. Afraid that it was going to go away at any moment. This beautiful thing was going to escape me soon.

And it did, a moment later. When my eyes closed and I succumbed to my tempting darkness.

--

--

I came to what seemed like only a moment later. The beeping of machines and the sterile smell of a hospital assaulting my senses. I squinted against the bright light of the emergency room, the fluorescence that shaded the entire building hitting my dilated pupils too quickly. It took me a second to adjust. A moment of breathing deeply with my eyes shut tight, before I could try again.

The moment when the room was plunged into darkness, I could have cheered. But I knew my throat would hate me for it. I was still too tired to talk loudly.

"How are you feeling?" I heard a voice ask me from my bedside and recognize it instantly. I searched the man out with eyes that were still adjusting.

"Like shit." I answered truthfully, glad that my throat didn't hurt too bad.

A moment later I felt a shift of the mattress and knew I was no longer the only occupant in the small hospital bed. I leaned into the chest that provided more comfort than anything else in this room. The fingers that ran repeatedly through my hair were lulling me back to sleep.

"You lost a lot of blood. You've been conked out for a few hours." Kakashi said and I buried my face in his shoulder. "You've got an IV, as I'm sure you've noticed, and they're still giving you fluids. They want to take you for another x-ray tomorrow morning to make sure they didn't miss anything. You've been pretty doped up. They didn't want you waking up when they were putting your bones back together."

I chuckled at his words and he did too. It was a nervous laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. It hadn't been very long since I'd been in this situation the last time. And I'd been drugged for a completely different reason. This was almost a nice change from the last time.

Almost.

"I don't want to be here." I said a moment later.

"I know, but you can't go home yet. The doctor said you'll probably go home tomorrow and you'll be back to school by Monday." He propped himself up on his elbow. "Do you want me to stay tonight?"

I didn't really have to answer that question, but I nodded anyway. The two of us stayed like that for a long time. I curled against him further, closing my eyes and enjoying how safe I felt laying beside him. I always knew that the two of us weren't a real family. We couldn't be, because both of us had once had a family and this was nothing like the way that had been. I was told to look at Kakashi as a father figure by the social workers who had placed me in his care six years ago. But I didn't look at him like a father, and he didn't look at me like a son. We were something else entirely.

Kakashi and I fought like we were family, like my brother and I had before the two of us had been separated. But then, we were closer than normal. I didn't talk much about what had happened to me, and he didn't talk much about what had happened to him. But what little we did say got the message across quite clear. I didn't have to say much, because he completely understood.

And it hadn't taken long for us to settle into something akin to normality with each other. It hadn't taken long for us to find comfort in one another. Because I knew I brought him just as much comfort as he brought to me. And we had been all each other had had at one time.

"Naruto was really worried about you." He said before I could drift back off to sleep. I thought back on the blonde boy who had walked with me to the nurses office and found myself wondering what he was doing right now.

I wondered if he'd found someone to go to the mall with him tonight, because he had wanted to go check out a new playstation game. I wondered if he'd found someone to replace me and wondered if I myself had replaced the person who had been hanging out with him before I had come to Maine. Had it been his girlfriend, whom I noticed he'd been repeatedly ignoring for the past week? In fact, the two of us had done a lot together, so what did that mean for his other friends?

I didn't respond to Kakashi's comment. Instead, I closed my eyes and spoke softly.

"Night, 'kashi."

"Goodnight, Rave…"

--

--

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Starbucks coffee shop**

**Day: 10, Sunday, November 5**

I could only hold the steaming mocha latte in my left hand as I sat down at a corner table. I would have brought my notebook with me so that I could write, but I'd been having a little bit of trouble with that since my right arm was encased in plaster from the middle of my palm to about half-way up my forearm. I had a hoodie on now, hoping no one would notice it. But I was just kidding myself. Who wasn't going to notice the neon pink casting poking out from the bottom on my sleeves? I had nothing to take the attention away from it, as most of my clothes were black, a stark contrast to the bright color that was going to be permanently fixed to my skin for close to eight weeks.

It was all Kakashi's fault, I just knew it. He had told the doctors to give me a pink cast just to make fun of me every time he got to see it. He'd denied it when I had asked him when I'd woken up on Friday morning. But he was a very bad liar when he was really wanted to laugh about something.

And seeing me in anything pink was probably very funny.

So, out of spite, yesterday, I had gone with Naruto to the mall and picked out a hot pink t-shirt with some American band label on it and worn it home. Just to show him that it didn't bother me. Only, that didn't deter him and he just kept bugging me about it anyway.

Shaking my head in a mixture of annoyance and amusement, I took a drink of my coffee, setting it down a moment later and picking up the novel I had been assigned to read for my AP Literature and Composition class.

I leafed through the pages in _Lord of the Flies_ until I found the spot I was looking for, where I'd left off. I'd read this book so many times I had parts of it memorized. However, every time I read it again, I found something I'd missed the last time. I enjoyed the story a lot, but I wasn't sure why, as I usually hated books we had to read for school. Of course, in Japan, this hadn't been a required work like it was here. I'd picked it up on my own one day while shopping for manga in Tokyo.

I read for a few pages, trying to decide what I would write my essay on next week. It wouldn't be that hard, Asuma had given us a list of things to choose from. The symbolism would be a popular subject I'm sure. The time period would be one as well.

"Enjoying your coffee, sexy?"

I didn't know how many times Gaara was going to be able to sneak up on me before I would finally be able to notice his presence before he spoke, but I blamed it on the book this time to make myself feel better. I whipped my head up just in time to see him pull a chair over from the table next to mine and sit down on it backwards before turning back to me. His bright eyes were even more noticeable in the sunlight, and the color was brought out by the green apron he wore over his black t-shirt. He had a smirk on his face that both excited and worried me, and he crossed his arms over his lean chest. I didn't answer his question.

"Lord of the Flies, huh?" He said while peeking at the cover of the book in my hand. "You know, William Golding had this theory…every human is born evil and they learn to behave the way society wants them to. Put them in a situation that doesn't have a society to tell them what to do, and they act on their innate human evil."

I nodded, listening to Gaara's voice become even scarier as he kept talking. I looked down at the page I was reading.

"This book is a pretty good example of his theory." I said in as low a voice as he spoke. "…but I don't believe it."

Gaara raised an eyebrow at my words and smirked again. "Yeah, it would be a little disturbing knowing everyone is born evil, huh?"

I tried not to think to hard on his words, but it didn't help much to try not to think about it. The sight of blood on metal, the scent of liquid iron, and the sound of ear-splitting--

I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts and looked back up at Gaara. He was no longer smirking, but looking at me in what I thought to be curiosity.

"You know," he said while standing up again, "my shift ends in about fourty-five minutes. If that's not too long of a wait for you, we can do something afterwards."

I nodded, not really sure what I was getting myself into. But it couldn't be that bad. I was still a little wary of Gaara from our last encounter in the locker room, but I figured I owed him a second chance. It was my first day there, and I had been a little wary of everything that had moved too rapidly.

"Alright, well, I'll be back in a little bit, then." He said before moving back to the door that read "employees only".

I went back to my book, immersing myself in the words once more and losing myself in the story of mankind reverting back to primal instincts. And I wondered if it would really be that bad to be stranded on an island like that, where there were no rules or society and no one was telling you what was right and what was wrong. Where evil wasn't labeled as _evil _but survival, and killing someone wouldn't be anything more than a mistake that would be washed away with the outgoing tide. And where there was evil there was unabashed passion that this world--this _damned_ preoccupied world--seemed to lack so much of. I missed the passion, wanted the passion that no one could give me, and I couldn't give it to anyone else either. Because we had the comforts that humanity didn't offer. We didn't have to make up for the lost comforts with words and bodies and actions to make us feel just a little better, just a little less lonely. That kind of passion didn't exist. And we didn't need it to. We didn't need people when we had other things to give us happiness without so much as a contradiction to what we fed into it. Take all of it away, take away the artificial happiness and what are we left with? Our innate evil to give us the excuse to love someone so deeply, so _passionately _that it could be called nothing less than a sin.

And it made me wonder…

How could passion for another human being, not the artificial happiness, be something so…evil?

"You look pensive." I heard Gaara's voice again and I found myself getting used to him, jumping every time he showed up and finally let me know he was there. I looked sheepishly up at him, apologizing for spacing out. "Don't worry about it," he said, "coffee can do that to people."

I stood and followed him out of the shop, zipping my hoodie up when the cool air hit me. I slung my bag further up on my shoulder and placed my book safely inside it. I had to walk a little faster than normal to keep up with Gaara as we walked around the parking lot to the back where employee parking was located. It reminded me a little of walking with Naruto, who's legs were about three inches longer than my own.

I wasn't really sure what kind of car Gaara drove, because I had never really been interested in that kind of thing. Pretty much all I saw was silver and small. I wondered if that was weird, that I didn't know that kind of thing, but I dismissed it as Gaara opened the door and sat in the driver's seat, reaching over to unlock my door. I sat beside him, deciding I liked the car with its black leather interior and the smell of the cologne I'd noticed Gaara wore.

We pulled out of the parking lot a few moments later and he headed straight for the main roads of York. I looked over at him. he seemed comfortable here, like his car suited him. He glanced over to me then and flashed me a smile I hadn't seen on him yet. I felt my face flush and turned away. What was this town doing to me?

"Where are we going?" I asked, watching the people walking on the beach as we passed by it. I noticed some of the natives were stomaching the cold and walking with their feet in the water. I shivered just thinking about it.

"You'll see…" we glanced at each other again--his eyes intense--before turning back to the road. "There's something I want to show you."

I settled back into the seat and smiled a little to myself. This was all feeling very familiar and I was reminded of Kabuto when the two of us had first started going out.

But this was nothing like that, was it? This was far from a date. Nothing more than two people hanging out…who have kissed…and are slightly attracted to each other.

I was starting to feel a little uneasy.

It didn't take long to get to our destination and Gaara was parking on what seemed like some kind of cliff. He turned off the car and opened his door; I followed suit.

The air was colder up here and I wrapped my arms around my chest, shivering slightly. I followed Gaara a few steps before he turned to look at me. He gazed at me curiously before furrowing his brow. I raised my own in question.

"You're not afraid of heights are you?" He asked me and my eyes narrowed.

"How high up are we?" I asked, noticing the air pressure change. He winced a little at my words.

"Just close your eyes." He said. I looked at him skeptically for a few moments before complying. I didn't move, but I almost jumped when I felt him take my hand in his own. When he spoke again, his voice was very close to my ear. "Move with me."

I walked, listening to Gaara's instructions and following him as best I could. When he told me to stop, he reinforced his words with an arm wrapped around my waist. I felt him pull me back against his chest, his lips close to my ear and his breath across my neck. I shivered again. "Open your eyes."

I did as I was told.

I couldn't breathe for a few moments as I stared out over the ocean from the edge of the cliff. The waves didn't reach us up here, but that didn't mean they didn't try. Crawling their way up the jagged rock, crashing in an eruption of white that seemed strong enough to move the cliff that we were standing on. In the distance I could see nothing but water, the color changing from green to blue to gray to black. It took all I had to wonder how deep the ocean was, how far the under-water drop-offs plunged into the earth. It was raging here, more temperamental than at the calmer beach down the road and I knew it had something to do with the weather, a storm maybe. Even with Gaara's arm wrapped firmly around my waist and me clinging to that limb with my hands in a grip he would have to pry off, I could feel the tug of the wind, beckoning me to join in with the water and wash over the rocks under me. And the power it seemed to have almost took me. I could do nothing but stare. I had no thoughts and no feeling. But oddly enough, I wanted to cry. I could feel the tears pricking at my lids.

It was the same feeling I'd had before I'd passed out last Thursday. I felt so very calm and at peace, but oh-so very endangered. This was solid, yet it slipped through my fingers every time the waves moved out and away. It was emotional and indifferent. It had no feeling, but could invoke such a sense of self that I almost didn't believe it wasn't alive. It had to be alive.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I heard Gaara's voice say over the sound of the waves and wind. I could do nothing but nod and I leaned back against him when it was too much to hold myself up. He didn't say anything and didn't push me away.

I was vaguely aware of his lips against the back of my neck, his teeth nipping at the skin before soothing it with his tongue. I did, however, notice when his arm moved and his hands gripped my sides, slipping up under my shirt to touch my skin with his cold fingers.

"Gaara…" I said trying to pull away, but unable to because we were so close to the edge of the cliff. "Gaara please…"

"Do you know how far of a drop that is, Sasuke?" Gaara whispered, stopping my struggling, "fifty feet, meaning the equivalent of a six story building, Sasuke."

I swallowed hard against the lump forming in my throat. My heart pounded in my chest and I unconsciously moved further into the firm chest against my back.

"They say certain _feelings _are heightened when you're afraid for your life…" he said, his voice husky and his breath hot on my cheek. He ran his tongue along the shell of my ear and I shuddered at the feeling, butterflies forming in my stomach. "Your heart races and your breathing quickens, you can't seem to get enough oxygen and your blood pounds through your veins, against your fingertips and your skull."

I turned slightly looking at his eyes, their intensity back. He moved closer, our lips almost touching and I could almost taste him he was so close. I waited for him to move closer, waited for him to take what he wanted, because I knew he wanted it. And I would be as submissive as I always was.

But then I thought about it. The racing heart, the quickened breathing, the pumping blood. I'd felt it all before. The feelings weren't new, and just how familiar they were brought back memories.

I pulled back.

"I can't, Gaara…I have a boyfriend." I said and watched as his eyes narrowed. It took awhile, but he nodded and grabbed my hand again.

"Come on, it's getting late" He pulled me away from the edge and we made our way back to his car. Before I sat down, I looked back to the ocean. It looked darker from here than it had when I was so close to the edge.

And for the first time since I'd moved here, I tasted a little passion.

**Note: I'm sorry for all of you who are getting sick of seeing nothing but Sasuke in this story, but I'm sort of a Sasuke-whore and love love love him. Alright, I'm feeling a little nervous about this chapter and it was kind of hard to write, so tell me what you think. **

**--Jaide**


	5. Coffee Kisses

**Note: Okay, this chapter took me a bit longer than I'd expected, but that's okay, right? Anyway, I want to thank all of you who took the time to review last chapter. You know I love you all. I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as much.**

**Warnings: Language, boyxboy kissing, tobacco use, and a whole lot of angst!**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

**It is 2:00 in the morning, and I really don't have time to reread this chapter right now. I probably will later, so please excuse the mistakes for now. Thank you.**

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter 5: Coffee Kisses

**POV: Naruto Uzumaki**

**Location: Hatake-Uchiha Residence**

**Day: 15, Friday, November 10**

I had always been a firm believer that a person's room told a lot about them. How organized they were, what kinds of things they liked to do, what kind of music they listened to. Someone's room was able to express things that even the person couldn't describe themselves. It had power, someone's room. It had power to show you everything you wanted to know about that person, and even some things you didn't want to know.

I _loved_ Sasuke Uchiha's room.

It wasn't very big--he'd said he'd picked this one for that very reason--so the place seemed just a little cramped. He had no dresser, as he hung all his clothes up in his closet, and his bed was nothing but a boxspring and twin-sized mattress on the floor. A small computer desk sat in the corner next to a floor-to-ceiling window, that was always open, bathing the room in sunlight because Sasuke liked it more than he did artificial light. His laptop lay on the desk along with his school work. He had posters of bands I'd never heard of before littering his white walls, creating a more dark feel to the room. Almost everything other than the white walls and carpet was dark, actually. His sheets and comforter were black, along with the massive bookshelf that sat in another corner.

The bookshelf was what had instantly caught my attention. It was tall--the top shelves had to be reached by way of step-stool--and the whole thing was full. Books of all shapes and sizes were piled into the many shelves, the bindings facing outward in a sort of organized line that I couldn't quite figure out. Some shelves were double stacked because it had been full for about a year and he still hadn't been able to stop buying more. But he hadn't wanted to spend his money on another book shelf.

"You can borrow that if you want, it's pretty good."

I turned to Sasuke who was laying on his stomach on the floor in his room. I was standing in front of the book shelf, holding a small novel in my hand. I looked down at the cover. It was pretty, like most of his books.

"I can't even read the title." I commented and he lifted his head from his work, a delicate brow raised.

"Oh, yeah…" He said and pushed himself off the floor to sit on his knees. He bit his lip. "Sorry, I don't really know if I have any that you _can _read. All my English books are pretty old, not anything you'd be interested in if you aren't a twelve-year-old boy."

I nodded and placed the book back in it's shelf. Falling to my knees first, I laid down on the floor next to the brunette and looked over his shoulder at our World History text. He had a highlighter in his left hand and was attempting to underline things he felt were important. His hand was shaking madly, trying to control the utensil without much luck. I wondered how long he'd been trying to do that.

"Here, let me." I said and took it from him. I could tell he didn't want to give it up, but he didn't have enough energy to fight with me right now. "You okay, man?"

"Yeah, just a little tired, I guess." He replied and laid his head down on the floor where his book had been a moment ago before I'd pulled it out from under him. I watched him for another moment, wanting for all I was worth to pick him up and put him in his neatly made bed so he could sleep. I opted to brush his hair out of his face. His eyes opened again as my finger pushed his bangs behind his ear.

I'd never been able to look at someone as long as I could sit there and stare at Sasuke. It was an inner conflict I'd been having since the two of us first started hanging out that night at the mall. I'd called him beautiful so many times before now, that I was actually starting to think that I had a crush on this guy.

"Your eyes are blue." He commented a moment later and I was startled out of my daze. I blinked in confusion. Of course my eyes were blue.

"They're always blue." I said, my brow wrinkling. He bit his lip again and shook his head.

"Are we getting anywhere?" He asked then, turning to the book placed between us. I looked down as well and continued highlighting the line Sasuke had been working on. We were supposed to be making an outline of chapter 14 for our test next Wednesday, so we were currently sorting through the crap that we would eventually have to turn in as our first grade this quarter.

"We've got a few more sections to look over. We can type the outline up Monday during class, we'll get a pass to the computer lab." Sasuke put his head down again and I went back to glancing through the text. A moment later, I jumped back to my feet. "Alright, I'm bored, let's go do something else."

He lifted his head off the ground and gave me a look. "What?"

"If I have to read one more reason why the fucking articles of confederation didn't work, I'm going to bash my brain in with your text book. That could end up kinda messy, and I don't think you'd really want to clean that up. All blood and brain matter, bad news." I explained and slipped my feet through my flip-flops. "And besides, you look almost miserable laying down there, I think we need to get you moving."

He raised a brow in defiance, but stood anyway. "Where are we going, then?"

I shrugged as I ran a hand through my already mussed hair. "I don't know. Anything to get us out of the house. We could call some people, see if they want to hang out. Kiba said something about going for pizza after soccer practice."

He nodded and I was happy that he wasn't going to turn this down. I needed to get out of this house. I needed to analyze things from a different perspective. And most of all, I needed to see my girlfriend.

As I pulled out my phone to call Hinata, Sasuke bent to pull his oversized skater shoes on. I honestly didn't know how the boy could keep them on his tiny feet, but I didn't question it. I watched him until the third ring and someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Neji?" I asked, confused. "What are you doing with Hina's phone?"

"Nothing, she's in the bathroom." He sounded irritated, as if I'd disrupted something. I shrugged it away.

"Well, Sasuke and I are bored, and we were wondering if you guys wanted to go hang out or something." Sasuke was done dressing and watched me with curious eyes from his seat on his bed. I sat down beside him.

"We're not doing anything productive, either. Shino and 'ten are over. We were gonna go meet Kiba and Lee at Starbucks in about twenty minutes though. Unless you've got something more exciting planned" Neji said.

I looked over at Sasuke, who was sitting with his head in his hands, his eyes closed again. If I wouldn't have felt bad, I would have pushed him off the bed and onto the floor. If it were Kiba, I'd do it.

"No, coffee's good. We need to wake up. It's Friday night and Sasuke here is falling asleep on his feet. Caffeine is exactly what we need."

"Well, we'll meet you there then. About twenty minutes."

"Alright. See you guys."

I closed my phone and shoved it back in my short's pocket, standing up and grabbing my hoodie from the doorknob on the closet. Sasuke stood too, stretching a little, his tight black t-shirt riding up his stomach to show a little oh his completely white skin. I turned away before I could really start staring.

I really needed to see Hinata. This whole thing was just me missing her. Sasuke really was feminine, and his dark hair reminded me of Hinata a lot.

"Alright, they're gonna meet us at Starbucks in twenty minutes. You wanna just leave now?" I asked, knowing it would only take us about five minutes to drive to the coffee shop. He nodded and stepped around me to walk out of his room. I followed him down the stairs in into his living room, where Kakashi was sitting on the couch reading. I didn't have to ask what it was, the cover said everything.

" 'kashi." Sasuke spoke softly to get his guardian's attention.

"What's up, Rave?" The older man didn't even lift his eyes from his book.

"We're going to go out for awhile." Sasuke said in his normal monotone. His voice was actually a lot deeper than I'd first noticed. It was dark, like the rest of him.

"Where are you going?" I think Kakashi asked that more to _sound _like a responsible adult than out of _real _curiosity.

"Out." Sasuke said and I winced at the thought of what Iruka would do to me, had I given him the same answer.

"Whatever, just be home by one."

I watched the entire display in silence and didn't move from my spot leaning against the wall until Sasuke turned back to me with a raised brow. I returned the gesture in question.

"Are you coming?" He asked in that same tone he'd used the first night we went to the beach. The memory made me chuckle, but I followed him out the door anyway, my hand dangerously close to the small of his back.

Yeah, I was definitely missing Hinata.

--

--

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Starbucks Coffee Shop**

**Day: 15, Friday, November 10**

I was barely awake by the time Naruto and I sat down at a table in Starbucks ten minutes later. It would be awhile before the others got here, but we'd decided to get our drinks already. He said that my severe fatigue was kind of boring, so I needed as much caffeine and sugar as I could get. I guessed that was why I sat here with a white chocolate mocha instead of my normal café au lait. I winced at the first overly sweet sip, but found myself almost happy with it just the same. This was exactly what I'd needed.

What I didn't need was Gaara staring at me from behind the counter. I could feel his intense green eyes boring into the back of my neck, making my skin crawl.

It wasn't that I didn't like Gaara. In fact, after Sunday, I had taken quite a liking to him and his adventures. However, he never seemed to leave me alone. Granted, I was in Starbucks, _his _place of employment. That didn't mean he was just allowed to stare at me like that though, did it? I think the worse part of it was that the crawling on my skin wasn't a bad crawling. I actually sort of liked the way he made me feel like I was the only person in the room. But that sort of turned everyone else on to doing the same thing. Being the center of one person's universe was alright--sort of thrilling, even--but when an entire room was staring at me, I got pretty irritated. It sort of made me feel like I was on display. And that was exactly how I was feeling.

Naruto seemed oblivious to it, or tying to seem that way. He sipped his strawberry smoothie without much care for anything else. Save Gaara, whom he kept throwing menacing glances toward--as menacing as those glances could be. He looked sort of funny with his eyes squinted and his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. I raised a brow at his behavior.

"Is he always just a creep?" He asked a moment later, turning to look at me as if I would know the answer to his question. I shrugged and took another drink.

"He's not all that bad. Just a little misunderstood, I think." I said in the redhead's defense. It was true. I could never seem to get his intentions right, no matter how "creepy" they were.

"A little misunderstood? Try a little scary. Guy's got stalker-killer written all over him." Naruto brushed some of his blonde bangs away from his face and I got the distinct image of Gaara coming over and slicing away his scalp in my head. I shook the unpleasant thought away. I thought that was going a little too far. He was a little scary sometimes, especially when he would come up from behind me in the halls during school, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that he would kill anyone. That was a big accusation that I thought too many people threw around.

I shrugged at Naruto's words, neither wanting to agree or disagree with him. Because frankly, I didn't feel like getting into it with him. I just wanted to sit here and enjoy my newly found coffee obsession without arguing over other people's different murder intents. That was a discussion we could have later…after we've known each other for a long, long time, and we know each other very, very well.

If it ever got that far.

I turned then, to glance behind me and catch Gaara's eyes with my own, comparing them to other's I'd met here. They were intense, like they could see right through you. But they also concealed everything he seemed to be feeling. They were like a two way mirror, he could see out, but we couldn't see in. I wondered if my eyes were the same way. But then he smirked and I knew that they weren't.

I liked his eyes, the color was light, pale. So unlike my own eyes. And so unlike Naruto's.

The blue. I remembered the blue so clearly, so vividly. I remembered staring into it before I'd passed out on Thursday. I just hadn't known what it was then. The calm color mixed with the intense feeling had been Naruto's eyes, and I'd seen it again tonight.

"We so beat their asses!"

I turned to the door where the rest of our little group was coming in. Kiba and Lee in the front talking animatedly about their soccer match, the rest of them following. I watched as they all filed in. Shikamaru and Chouji--two guys that were in my year--along with Sakura and Ino and Neji, Tenten, Hinata, and Shino. They spotted Naruto and me almost instantly, passing through the shop to come sit down. Some people sitting around us glared at them for being so noisy; I fought not to glare back at them.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto said as the group pulled up chairs and walked up to the counter to get drinks. Hinata sat between Naruto and me, planting a kiss on his cheek and flashing me a small sweet smile.

She really was nice, and that made it all the harder to hate her for being so close to him. It hurt that I couldn't do what she was doing, like sit on his lap and throw her arms around him. I wanted to spend time with him like that. I wanted him to look at me like that.

But hadn't he been doing that earlier? Hadn't he been looking at me just like that when he brushed my hair out of my face? I shook my head to rid me of my thoughts.

Everyone was sipping drinks and talking and I was feeling more than a little out of place now. I didn't say much, not that I ever did, just sat in my seat and listened to the conversations going on around me. I took my chance at having everyone together to analyze them. I don't know why I did this all the time, but people-watching had always been a favorite pastime of mine.

Ino and Sakura were the two girls that hung out in the orchestra room during my rehersal. They had friends in the orchestra and were in Ms. Kurenai's choir class fourth period. They were pretty nice, if not a little annoying, and they seemed to have a good friendship, complimenting each other well. Sakura was dating Lee, the soccer team captain and quite possibly the loudest person I'd ever met. He was kind of irritating as well, but he seemed friendly and had good intentions. Then there was Neji, sitting next to Lee drinking a mocha latte. Tenten--I'd been told the two of them had been going out for quite awhile--sat on his lap with her head against his shoulder. She was quite a bit smaller than him and seemed to fit perfectly in his arms. I think out of all the girls, I liked her the best. She was listening to Lee talk about the match with a warm smile on her face. Kiba was next to the couple talking exclusively to Shikamaru. I smirked knowingly at the way the lazy boy's face flushed just a little. Chouji was munching on chocolate flavored espresso beans next to them and seemed content with his limited inclusion to the group's conversation, giving his welcomed opinion every so often.

I wondered then, if I really fit in with this group of people. And if I did, it was amazing how quickly I'd found myself in a ring of friends. But these people weren't really _my _friends. They were Naruto's friends. And I just happened to be Naruto's friend too. Oh, I didn't miss the longing glances from some of the group, wanting to be a real friend to me or something more. I just ignored it, having been used to it for so long. I didn't need these people's false commitment. I didn't really need these people at all. I was perfectly capable of living my life without these so called "friends" that Naruto seemed so fond of. The idea of _needing _these people sickened me, because I didn't want to have to rely on anyone for my existence. But Naruto seemed to thrive in it, seemed to crave it.

I stood, quite finished with this little party, and moved away from the table with every intention of walking out the front door and going home. Going to bed. Hadn't Naruto said something about not doing things on Friday nights because he needed his sleep? He sure didn't seem to need any sleep now. I, on the other hand, did need it.

"Hey, where're you going, man?" Naruto asked before I could walk away from the table. I turned back to him, ready to tell him just what I had been planning to do. However, everyone's attention was on me now and they were all looking at me curiously--maybe even venomously. As if my leaving would be a threat to their very lives and they were willing to fight me for all they were worth.

"I…" I started and my shoulders sank with the realization that I didn't want to fight these people, I didn't have enough energy for such trivial things tonight, "I'm just going to get another drink."

"Oh, okay." He said, smiling. He turned back to his friends a moment later and the others went back to their conversations. I made my way over to the counter.

"You seem to be having a great time." Gaara said to me as I leaned against the counter. I chuckled at his words.

"They're alright. Too much excitement for me though." I responded truthfully. I read the drink menu again, seeing if there really was something I wanted.

"Here, take another one, I've got it." Gaara said, pushing a drink in front of me that looked exactly like the one I'd just been drinking. I took a sip.

"Are you sure?" I asked, not wanting to take something that he would have to pay for later.

"Yeah, I get an employee's discount, and you look like you need it." He said and went back to filling orders. I didn't move from the counter.

"I need a cigarette more than anything." I sighed and took another sip of my drink.

"My break is starting. Wanna join me out back?" He asked and I nodded. Anything to get me out of this place. I didn't have my cigarettes with me, which was a stupid move on my part, but I'd been so tired before we'd left the house, that I hadn't even thought of grabbing them.

We walked out the back door. I followed him to his car, parked in the same spot as it had been Sunday afternoon. It looked different in the dark, cooler maybe, and I found myself wanting to sit in it again, wanting to let him take me somewhere else.

He opened the driver's seat door and kneeled in, pulling out a moment later, a cigarette and lighter in his hand. He placed it in his mouth and lighted it, taking a drag. As he blew smoke over my head, he handed the cigarette to me. I took a drag too, before passing it back to him.

"Sorry for bumming off you so much tonight." I said and leaned against his car. He smirked while flicking ashes on the ground.

"Don't worry about it," he replied, "I don't mind at all. This is the closest I've gotten to kissing you in awhile."

I chuckled at the truth of his words. He moved a step closer to me and I didn't move back. He took his chances again and took another step, this time, placing the cigarette between my lips again.

"I want to kiss you again, Sasuke." He said. "And I think you want to too."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, the words muffled by the cigarette.

"Because you haven't stopped me yet." He continued moving closer, gripping my side and watching my mouth as he pulled the cigarette out again, throwing it on the ground beside his foot. I blew the smoke over his head and came back to gaze into his green eyes that were alight with something I wasn't sure I'd seen before. He was right, I hadn't stopped him and I had no intention of doing so now. His mouth was so close to my own.

"Or yet." He whispered against my lips and I closed my eyes. I waited again for him to take what he wanted.

I didn't have to wait long.

Gaara tasted of smoke, coffee and surprisingly mint. It was a dark taste, a taste that was so very new to me, but something I could easily place with another person. The other person who'd kissed me like this, taking what he wanted and not holding back. I opened my lips, allowing a powerful tongue entrance, but I didn't have to do much work at all. He seemed to be in control of everything, and I was okay with that. I was okay with surrendering to him, because I'd wanted to surrender to someone for so very long. It had been so very long since someone had taken control from me.

I was vaguely aware of Gaara wrapping his arms around my waist and guiding my own arms around his neck. I wondered what I was doing out here, kissing this boy, when I hadn't even come to see him in the first place. I'd come with Naruto, to hang out with Naruto.

But Naruto was in the coffee shop behind us, with his girlfriend sitting next to him. It wasn't me in there kissing his cheek and holding his hand. It wasn't me he was in love with. He had his girlfriend, and I had…

"Gaara…" I panted out as the redhead moved from my mouth to my neck, nipping at the flesh there and digging his blunt nails into my ribs. I liked the pain. It, too, was familiar but had taken a long time to visit me again. The kind of pain that accompanied someone's sharp teeth on the tendon of your neck and that person's weight on your chest as your back pressed against a pretty car, bending backwards to arch into skillful hands.

But it hadn't been long enough for me to forget what it felt like. And this was just a little too different from the last time. This was just a little too planned. Gaara was shoving a knee between my thighs and snaking a hand up my shirt. The cold November air was causing my breaths to come out in small white puffs from my mouth. Like they had when I was younger and I'd run around in the snow.

"Gaara…stop…" I said, trying to push the stronger teen off me, "…please…"

"What's wrong?" He asked, pulling back to look into my eyes that were glazed over with tears. I sobbed once and wiped my face with my hoodie sleeve. "Sasuke, what happened? What did I--" 

"Nothing," I sighed shakily, "you didn't do anything. I'm fine…I just…I need…"

"Do you want me to take you home?" He asked and I could have kissed him all over again for his amazing ability to read me like he was. I nodded and thanked him.

We got into his car, the same procedure as before. He played some American hard rock band I didn't know as we drove out of Starbuck's parking lot.

I wondered if Gaara would get into trouble for leaving his shift early to take me home.

And I wondered if Naruto would notice I was gone.

And if he would care.

**Note: The style of this story is starting to remind me a little of Follow You. I don't care though, because I'm writing it! I want to say to all of you who absolutely hate the GaaraxSasuke stuff in this chapter to hold on, I will get you your Narusasu soon, I just have to lead up to it. I'm probably just getting this little bit of my redhead fix in right now and it'll be over soon. I did give you a little insight to what's going on in Naruto's head though. Is he really crushing on our favorite emo boy, or is it really him just missing his girlfriend so much? Anyway, leave me some feedback, I thrive on it. Love you all**

**--Jaide!**


	6. Intros and Stage Fright

**Note:**

**2 weeks in France + 12 hours lost in Paris + 1 broken wrist THE BEST FUCKING SPRING BREAK EVER!!!**

**This is a Vicodin induced chapter… hehe, that sounds funny… but it's true. I'm sitting here in my room that smells oddly unfamiliar, with my computer in my lap and typing this up in my blue cast. **

**Warnings: Hmmm… some cursing… but I don't think there's anything else…**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

Masochist

By: Jaiden Lockheart

Chapter 6: Intros and Stage Fright

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Hatake-Uchiha Residence**

**Day: 16, Saturday, November 11**

I sat in Naruto's blue car, my feet up on the dash and my arms wrapped around my knees, hugging them to my chest. It was cold, colder than it should have been for a November afternoon. However, I knew I should just get used to it, as it would only get colder from here on out. I was just a little too attached to my thin black hoodie and didn't want to go digging through the boxes in the garage to find my coat. So I sat there, shaking like a leaf and quite possibly getting frost bite on the tips of my uncovered fingers. I had half a mind to stick them in my mouth.

"You know, you could have told me you wanted to leave last night." Naruto said as we pulled out of my driveway. I waved a little to Kakashi who was sitting outside on the front porch drinking tea and smoking a cigarette. He nodded back to me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to just bail like that." I replied and leaned forward in my seat, my feet sliding down to the floor, when I finally started feeling the heat coming out from the vents in front of me. I placed my hands over them.

"I would have taken you home." He went on, his eyes staying on the road. "It's not like it was _that _big of a deal that we stay there. I just wanted to get out because I was tired of doing homework. We could have done something else, if you hadn't wanted to go."

I stayed silent, not really knowing what to say. Biting the inside of my lip, I pulled away from the vent. My hands were now all red from the heat and I pressed my fingers into my palms to watch the skin turn white.

"And you didn't have to have _Gaara_ take you home." Naruto brought my attention back to him. "Who the fuck knows what was going through his psycho head."

"He just took me home. It's not like he did anything to hurt me or something." I said looking over to the blonde. I almost wanted to glare I him, but knew I shouldn't. It wasn't his fault I left him and his friends last night.

"Somehow I don't believe that." He scoffed pulling into the parking lot for the grocery store. He needed to pick up a few things for dinner tonight, which he was making for Iruka, Kakashi and me.

"What did he _do_ to you guys?" I asked, my brow wrinkling in frustration. We pulled into one of the handicapped parking spaces, though neither of us were handicapped, and got out of the car.

"What are you talking about?" He said as we walked up to the door of the grocery store. The automatic doors opened to let us in.

"Gaara." I explained. "All of you seem to hate him, but I have yet to see where he has done anything for you _to_ hate him."

"The guys a creep, do you need more of a reason?" He responded while we through the produce stands. He picked up a few fresh tomatoes and mushrooms, throwing each up in the air before catching them deftly in his hand.

I just shook my head and followed him, not gracing his question with an answer. But inwardly, I was screaming. Yes, I needed more of a reason, because, though Gaara may be a little creepy, he was nice. He took the things that he wanted, but I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to give it to him. He hadn't attacked me in any way, but Naruto was acting as if I'd been raped or something last night. And he didn't believe me when I told him nothing had happened. He was assuming the worst of Gaara, who, from what I could see, just minded his own business.

"You like him, don't you?" Naruto asked, when I decided to speed up a little and walk ahead of him. I shrugged my shoulder in answer. He continued talking. "I can't believe this. I told you the guy was bad news and you still end up liking him."

"You told me he was a creep." I corrected, turning to face him and ignoring the women who stop to look at us argue. "But you haven't told me _how _he is a creep. If you told me what he did that was so wrong, maybe I'd think twice about what you said."

He didn't respond to my words but I could tell he was thinking them over. He reached for a box of ziti on the top shelf and took a deep breath. I scratched my neck and glared at the lady who was standing right beside us. She moved on to her shopping then.

"He and I used to be really good friends," Naruto said and I frowned at his words, "but we stopped talking to each other about a year ago."

I followed him to the dairy aisles and he went on looking for the things he would need later.

"Why?" I asked and folded my arms over my chest to keep warm. I hated this part of the grocery store, I always froze to death.

"I fucked his sister." He answered matter-of-factly. I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "We had a fight about it, and decided that we weren't going to be friends anymore."

"You decided?" I said, a little disbelievingly.

"Well, it was more like he said he never wanted to see my fucking face again and if I didn't get out he was going to castrate me and feed me my own cock, but…you get the idea." He shrugged again.

"You fuck your best friend's sister and he's the creep?" I laughed a little at the irony of his words.

"Shut up, alright, Temari's hot." He laughed a little too. He nodded his head toward the front of the store and I walked with him up to the registers. He paid for the food and carried the plastic bag outside and into his car; I followed in tow.

"So, do you really like this guy?" He asked me again when we were sitting back in his car. I put my feet up on the dash again and drummed my fingers against my knees.

"Yeah…no…I don't know…" I said, shaking my head in confusion. "I mean, he's come onto me a few times and I haven't exactly _pushed _him away, but we haven't done anything. And I don't want to get involved with him while I'm still going out with Kabuto….Kabuto!"

"Who's Kabuto?" Naruto asked and I had the sudden urge to smack myself in the forehead for being so stupid.

"He's my boyfriend back in Japan. Fuck, what am I going to tell him?" I pressed my eyes into my knees, little spots of light erupting behind my lids.

"Why do you have to tell him anything?" Naruto said as he put the key into the ignition and started the car. We pulled out of the store's parking lot and headed back towards my house.

"Because I made out with another guy!" I practically shouted.

"You made out with Gaara?" He looked over at me for a moment, a brow raised and his eyes wide. If the situation hadn't been so serious, I would have laughed at his expression.

"Yeah, last night."

"You told me he didn't try anything."

"He didn't try anything I didn't want him to."

"You're screwed, man."

"I know."

I wondered vaguely if Kabuto would be online tonight, the two of us hadn't spoken in a long time.

I stayed silent for the rest of the ride back.

Iruka was already at our house, his car sat in the driveway. However, that wasn't the only car that was parked there that wasn't normally. I narrow my eyes at the black truck sitting in front of the house.

"Who is that?" Naruto asked and I shook my head. It surprised me to see the extra vehicle there just as much as it did him. We pulled into my driveway behind Iruka and stepped out of the car. I kept my eyes on the truck as we walked inside, my brow furrowed in confusion.

We walked into the house, Naruto ahead of me. He carried the bag of groceries into the kitchen and set them on the counter. I didn't hear Kakashi or Iruka in the house anywhere; I wondered where they were.

"Ah, Sasuke, there you are." I turned to see Kakashi coming in through the glass sliding door leading to our back deck. Iruka was following in behind him and came to join Naruto and me in the kitchen. He clapped his son on the shoulder.

"What were you guys doing?" I asked and leaned against the counter, my hip digging into it almost painfully.

"Oh, just catching up with an old friend." Kakashi explained, doing nothing to abate my confusion. I pushed off of the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. Kakashi did nothing but smile.

"Who is this old friend?" I asked flatly, a little annoyed with him. When he nods to the door behind him, I just about lash out. He really liked to piss me off sometimes. I opted to stare blankly at him, waiting for said "friend" to walk in behind him.

And when he did, I forgot everyone else in the room.

"OBITO!" I practically screamed and ran down the small flight of stairs that connected the kitchen with the family room. I probably looked pretty funny with my face lighted with a smile. I didn't mind at all though, as I threw myself at the grinning man standing beside Kakashi. He caught me deftly, wrapping arms around my waist.

"Hey you." He chuckled, his voice light but not lacking feeling. Just as I remembered it being. I took a step back to look at him again.

It was safe to say that most of the Uchihas share the same kind of look. The black hair and dark eyes, pale skin and lean frame. Obito Uchiha was no different. Though he was a little broader than myself, I knew it was hard not to see we were related.

I had known Obito my whole life, as he'd lived in Japan most of his life. He had moved to the U.S. six years ago to finish college and I hadn't seen him since. In fact, he was the first Uchiha I had seen in a long time.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, searching his familiar face for some sort of answers.

"I live here." He explained.

My eyes grew wide. He lived here? What was he talking about? Last I had heard he was living in Ohio with some girl named Rin. I raised a brow in confusion, prompting him to continue with a wave of my hand.

"I moved up here about a year ago, when I finished school," he said, still laughing slightly. I guessed that was all the explanation I was going to get for now and smiled at him again. It really was nice seeing him here. It had been so long, too long.

"Obito is staying for dinner," Kakashi spoke almost proudly, his attention turned to Naruto, "that is, of course, if we have enough to spare for him."

I turned hopeful eyes to the blonde, who nodded quickly in response.

"Yeah, we'll have plenty." He said and turned to the food that was laying on the counter. He started searching through the grocery bags as the Iruka, Obito, Kakashi and I all took seats at the kitchen table. I dived into conversation again, amazed at how easy I was talking to Obito. Normally, I wasn't this talkative.

"How have you been?" I asked, pulling off my hoodie and revealing the bright pink cast wrapped around my wrist.

"Better than you've been, I see." He said, nodding toward my arm and I unconsciously moved it under the table so he couldn't gawk at it, like everyone seemed to love to do. "What did you knock into this time?"

"The floor." I deadpanned. "I fell in gym. We were playing basketball."

"More like you were clobbered into the ground." Naruto stated from the stove where he was mixing what must have been garlic and onions in a pan. I rolled my eyes at his words.

"I never took you for one to enjoy contact sports, Sasuke." Obito laughed and my eyes narrowed.

"Not usually." I said, shaking my head.

We went on talking for awhile, no real importance to our words, but it was nice talking nonetheless. I had felt a sense of warmth from the very moment I saw Obito walk through our back door, and it only continued to grow while we waited for Naruto to finish cooking. Iruka and Kakashi joined in sometimes, but they seemed to be content sitting and watching.

We ate quickly, congratulating Naruto on the food. It really was good, as much as it irked me. I wasn't good at cooking, never had been. I had a small fear of burning myself.

Iruka and Naruto didn't stay long after we were finished eating. They took their leave at around eight o'clock, saying something about having homework. I figured Iruka was talking about the pre-calc assignments Naruto had neglected to turn in for the past week. I don't think I'd ever seen him roll his eyes so far back in his head. I waved goodbye to them from my couch.

"Kabuto called earlier." Kakashi said, leaning against the doorway to our living room. I looked up at him, surprised.

"When?" I asked, my stomach twisting into knots. I had effectively forgotten about my boyfriend predicament while catching up with Obito. I should have known it would come back.

"When you and Naruto were at the store. He told me to have you call him back."

I nodded and pulled my cell out of my pocket. I searched through my contacts to find Kabuto's number.

"Who's Kabuto?" Obito asked from beside Kakashi.

"Sasuke's boyfriend." I glared at Kakashi for answering before I could.

I stood from my position on the couch and walked between the two adults. Obito was chuckling again. And again he was laughing at me.

I climbed the stairs two at a time, walking briskly to my room and slamming the door behind me. All the while, I held my phone to my ear and waited for Kabuto to pick up. I listened to the customary three rings before-

"Hello?" Said a tired voice on the other end.

"Hey." I whispered, sliding down the wall to sit on my floor. The carpet was thin and my ass hurt as it smacked into the wood underneath.

" 'suke?" He sounded tired and I felt kind of bad for waking him up.

"Yeah."

"God, I hardly recognized your voice. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Where are you? This isn't the number I called earlier."

"I'm home. I got a new cell the other day."

"Oh."

"So, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I got back from a party late last night and called you before I went to bed. I hope I didn't sound too bad when Kakashi picked up."

"Drunk?"

"Yep."

"Hangover?"

"Oh, hell yeah."

I chuckled. It felt good to hear his voice again. I wished I could have been at that party with him. I wished I could be sleeping next to him in his apartment right now. But he was miles away and I could only take comfort in his words.

"I was talking about you earlier, with Naruto." I said, recalling the conversation I had with the blonde while we were in the grocery store.

"I knew my ears were burning for a reason." Kabuto teased and I smiled. "Nothing bad was said, I hope."

My smile faded quickly. How like him to say something like that and catch me completely off guard. He didn't do it on purpose, I know, but it still irritated me. As if he wanted me to tell him I kissed another boy and let said boy feel me up in a Starbucks parking lot.

But it wasn't his fault. I made decision just as much as everyone else did. I decided to let Gaara kiss me, and it was my fault I was feeling nauseated and foolish now. I knew I should tell him the truth, knew I should be honest. But how did you get the courage to tell your boyfriend of a whole year that you had practically cheated on him? How did you find words for that.

"…No, of course not." I took the easy way out. I would tell him eventually, but right now wasn't the time.

We stayed silent for a few moments. I listened to him breathing into the receiver, the sound lulling me into some sort of trance.

"Well, babe…" He said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "I'm still pretty tired, so I'm gonna let you go."

"Alright. I think I'm gonna go for a walk anyway." I replied and stood up.

"Okay. I love you." My stomach twisted at his words.

"I love you." I whispered and pulled the phone away from my ear.

I needed to get out, needed to go somewhere and think. The white walls and beige carpet of my room were too forgiving, the small bed too inviting. I needed something that wouldn't be so easy to look at, something that would intimidate me, frighten me.

I stood back up, slipping my phone in my pocket and crossing the room to the door. I walked down my hallway slowly, my arms folded over my chest, and slipped down the stairs. I didn't skip steps like most people. Not because I would fall on my ass, but because my legs weren't long enough for me to want to do something that could possible be detrimental.

My feet touched the floor of our foyer, my flip-flops--a gift from Naruto--smacking against the tile loudly. I rounded the corner.

"Kakashi, I'm going out for a little--"

I stopped speaking the moment I looked in the living. Kakashi quickly pulled away from Obito, a guilty look on his face.

I didn't hear him call my name on my way out the door.

**Note: I think this is probably one of shorter chapter, maybe my shortest yet. I want to end it here though, so… yeah. I hope you all enjoy, because I don't really know if I like it much. Eh, whatever, it'll get the storyline going, so I'm not too worried about it. **

**Sasuke's Ipod:**

**Kyo- Contact**

**Madina Lake- House of Cards**

**I really like both of these songs and I can definitely see Sasuke listening to them. I adore Kyo, the French band, and the Sasuke of my story would definitely listen to almost anything French.**

**Anyway, leave me a message, I thrive on feedback!!!!**


	7. Panic

**Note: For any of you who are struggling to find out who you are, or any of you who are struggling to defend who you are, don't give up! No one has the right to tell you you can't be who you want to be, no one has the right to push themselves on you. Recently, I've discovered that there are people who are blind, and people who only want to see their own beliefs. Don't let them discourage you! Stand tall, stand proud! You are who you are, and no one can take away that pride if you don't let them. Don't let them! Whoever you are, whatever you believe, don't lose yourself. And don't let others lose themselves either. Don't let blank eyes and fake smiles fool you. Help those around you. And be conscious of the world. We all some more people in the world like that. **

**I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update guys. Don't worry, I haven't abandoned you. Things just came up and… I got a little distracted. I won't go into great detail here, but I was hurt pretty badly by some people I thought really loved me. I'm okay now, and I know I'll come out stronger. **

**Warnings: There's some cursing in this chapter, but other than I don't think there's really anything to worry about.**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

**Chapter 7: Panic**

**POV: Kakashi Hatake**

**Location: Hatake-Uchiha Residence**

**Day: 16, Saturday, November 11**

"SASUKE!" I yelled as I watched the teen exit the house at a run. I pushed off the couch to follow him, my own feet banging against the tile of the foyer and the screen door swinging to slam against the wall outside. I could see him running down the street, his tiny frame built for a speed I could never hope to achieve. I stopped on the porch and followed him with my eyes until he disappeared around the corner and kept running.

My breathing came in pants that shouldn't have been so heavy. I wasn't sure why I was so worked up, why I felt as if my heart had fallen into my stomach. This wasn't the first time Sasuke had run out of the house like this, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. He was a teenager, and anxious to a fault.

I turned back to the house to see Obito standing in the doorway. A confused look marred his normally perfect Uchiha appearance.

"I should probably go." He said and stepped out on the porch.

"No, it's fine, you can stay. This isn't your fault." I tried, but knew he wouldn't listen. He never did.

"I'll come back later on this week or something, when things have settled down." He placed a hand on my shoulder and the warmth from his skin filled me again, like it did every time he touched me. It had been so very long since I'd seen him last. I didn't want him to have to leave again.

"Sasuke's fine. He's a teenager, resilient." I tried to reason. It was true, most teenagers were resilient, and Sasuke was no different. He was actually probably one of the most flexible kids I knew.

"Look, Sasuke was really mad," Obito said, black eyes that were familiar for more than one reason boring into my own. "The last thing I wanted to do by coming here is upset him. Talk to him tonight…or tomorrow and I'll come back when things have settled down between you."

I nodded, more because I knew I couldn't argue with him than because I really believed it was that simple. Nothing with Sasuke was that simple.

I reached up to cup the back of Obito's head, pulling him closer and pressing my lips to his own again. I had never been able to get over how _right _I felt when I was with him, how well we fit together. It amazed me, as much as it frightened me, and I didn't know if I was really ready for something like this. I didn't know if I'd ever be ready for it.

But I was so connected with the Uchihas. Obito, Itachi,…Sasuke…

I pulled away from Obito at the thought of the raven haired boy who had run away from me earlier. I had priorities to him. Priorities that were much more important than anything I was doing now, with Obito.

"I'll call you later." I said and let my hand fall to my side. He nodded and, without saying another word, walked down the porch steps and to his truck.

When he was well on his way down the street, I moved back into the house and into the living room.

Sitting on the couch again--Obito's scent still lingering in the air--I wondered one thing aloud.

"What did I get myself into?" 

--

--

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Umino Residence**

**Day: 16, Saturday, November 11**

I knocked back two Xanax tablets while I grabbed the glass of water Iruka handed to me. Swallowing the pills dry was fairly uncomfortable, but the shaking of my hands prevented me from bringing the glass to my lips. I felt the medication sliding down my esophagus, getting stuck for a second in my chest. I had half a mind to run to the bathroom and shove my finger down my throat, to purge myself of this foreign substance that seemed to get me into more trouble than it was worth. But I'd grown to depend on it's affects.

My breathing seemed to even out and my heart rate slowed to a normal pace. My vision cleared and I no longer had to grit my teeth to keep myself from hyperventilating.

"Are you alright, Sasuke?"

I nodded to the man who sat beside me. His hands rested in slight fists on the table in front of him, and for some reason, I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the tanned flesh right now. It calmed me in a way I wasn't able to grasp mentally.

"I'm sorry, Iruka. I didn't mean to just show up like this." I said, feeling foolish, but grateful my voice was a little more steady now than it was when I first came here.

I didn't like having panic attacks with other people around except Kakashi, but it was worse having them alone. It had been a bad idea to run out of my house like I had, and when I'd gotten to the end of my street and the tunnel vision started setting in, I had known what was coming. However, I couldn't have very well turned back around and went back home. What would Obito have thought of me then? To see me walking in the door, gasping for air, holding my chest, and running into walls to keep myself upright.

But that's what had been happening. I had been suffocating, my heart pounding, dizziness was setting in and time was slowing down. I could do nothing but keep running, the adrenaline pumping through my veins. My head still spun a little from the hormone completely taking over.

I couldn't stop running.

"It's alright," Iruka responded finally, "I wasn't asleep or anything. I'm more worried if you're alright."

"I'm okay." I answered him, still not able to look him in the eye. "It's not a big deal. I've had panic attacks before. It just takes a few minutes for me to come down from them."

"But you're okay now?" He asked and I nodded. I took another few deep breaths, more to convince myself than him that breathing wasn't a hassle, before I lifted my head to look at him.

"I really am sorry to bother you so late."

"He told you not to worry about it. If Iruka says that about people coming over this late at night, he means it." Naruto stated as he walked in the kitchen with a sweatshirt in his hand. He handed it to me before sitting down in the chair next to Iruka. I smiled in thanks to him and pulled the hoodie on. I was always cold after an attack.

"Yeah." I said, still feeling anxious, but I could tell the Xanax was starting to take effect. I was starting to get really tired too.

"Why do you have panic attacks?" Naruto asked. People were often curious about them and I didn't mind answering questions, but I was a little irritated at the moment. I wasn't annoyed with him, but annoyed in general, and I had to tell myself it wasn't his fault.

"I have what they call Panic Disorder." I said and I watched as his eyes grew a little wider. "It's nothing that's going to kill me or anything. Pretty much all it means is that I've had a series of panic attacks that have been recorded as happening within a certain amount of time. I have them more regularly than other people do and my body doesn't deal with anxiety the same way other's do."

I'd gone over the disorder so many times with so many people, I almost had a routine as to how I told them about it. I never gave them too much information, because that's too personal for the first time someone's ever heard of it, or known someone who's had it.

"So what happened?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto!" Iruka reprimanded. "Leave him alone for a little while, alright? Is there anything you need, Sasuke?"

"No, I'm fine. Actually, I think I'm gonna go. I need to get back home." I stood from my seat, the room spinning slightly. "Thank you for letting me come over."

"You can't walk home now." Naruto said, standing also. "Look at you, you can barely stand up."

"Why don't you stay here for the night." Iruka suggested.

"I can't," I put my hand under the table top to steady myself, not wanting to let them know that I really wasn't okay to walk home just yet. "Kakashi doesn't know I'm here. I ran out of the house. I have to go back home."

"I'm sure it's fine if you--"

"No, you don't understand. I have to go back home."

I couldn't tell them about what I saw, but I had to make them understand. Or at least, as much as they could understand. I didn't even fully understand it. I only knew that I wanted to go home now, needed to go home now.

"Okay, but Naruto's driving you home." Iruka said, and I couldn't help but relax. I was going home and I didn't have to worry about walking all the way there.

Nodding, Naruto stood also and walked over to the hooks on their wall to grab his keys. They jingled in his hand a little louder than usual, and I used the sound to guide me through their house and to their front door. I was glad that Iruka didn't put up more of a fight. I would have won either way, even if I'd had to sneak out of the house later.

"Thank you again." I said, as Naruto and I were headed out the front door and Iruka nodded and smiled. As I was making my way to Naruto's car--a Mazda, I knew now--Iruka was saying things to Naruto. I knew they were about me, but I honestly didn't care. I'd had people talk about me my whole life.

I practically threw myself in the car, sitting low in the seat and putting my feet on the dash. I laid my head on my knees, closing my eyes and counting Naruto's footsteps on the frosted grass as he neared the driver's side. I didn't open them when I heard the door open and close or when he started the car and pulled out of the driveway. I let the vibrations from the car, the twisting of the roads, and the sound of "I promise you walls" by _Shiny Toy Guns _calm my nerves.

I sang the words.

"_Loneliness  
Is more than we'll ever feel  
Blind as you are  
Watching everything  
When we die  
Faith is lost...  
Once again  
Taking hold of all we are_

Who says we die?  
Before we live  
I promise you walls of grace  
...to carry on  
When we're lost  
..We'll find a way

Loneliness  
Or should we say something more?  
Oceans arise  
Washing over me  
Cold company  
Dark shades of harmony  
Chasing the lies no one believes…" 

By the time we were pulling into my driveway, I was almost asleep. But when the car stopped and the music was cut off, my eyes flew open and I was wide awake again.

"We're here." Naruto said, looking at me almost gently. I nodded back to him. Now that we were here, I had to admit that I was a little nervous. His blue eyes left my own for a moment to look out the windshield. "Kakashi just came outside."

I lifted my head slowly and turned to see Kakashi leaning against one of the posts on our porch. I swallowed and lifted my hand to open the door, climbing out the car a moment later. I barely heard Naruto behind me, but his hand was on the small of my back and he was whispering in my ear.

"I'm gonna go upstairs." I nodded to his words but didn't watch him walk up the steps of my porch and into my house. I kept my eyes on the silver haired man that was still leaning against the post.

The two of seemed to be waiting for something to happen. I waited for him to yell, he waited for me to apologize. And I probably should have apologized, as soon as I walked out of the car. I should have walked right up to him and asked for his forgiveness, but I didn't, my pride wouldn't allow me to do such a thing. Instead, I stared at him, just as he did at me.

"It's three o'clock in the morning, Sasuke." He finally did say, raising an eyebrow for an explanation.

I looked down, my eyes finding the stair he was standing on. "Sorry."

There was a sigh followed by the shifting of fabric against wood and I looked up to see him sitting on the stairs, pulling out a cigarette and looking around for his lighter. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my own to give to him, maybe in a peace offering. He took it, almost gratefully, and lit his cigarette.

"Iruka called me when you and Naruto left his house." He said between hits. My brow furrowed at his words. "I didn't figure you had actually run out of here with a destination in mind."

"It wasn't in mind." I retorted, getting a little annoyed with him. I couldn't tell if he was angry with me or not and it was irritating.

"Then what made you decide to go there?" He asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out another cigarette. He stuck this one in his mouth too, lighting it and taking a drag. But instead of holding it between his bent legs like he normally would while he was talking he held it straight out, towards me.

I took it from him, thankful for something to calm my nerves. I didn't have any cigarettes here because the people working the gas stations were so adamant about their underage tobacco laws. It had been a long time since I'd smoked and it felt good to be holding a cigarette in my hand now.

I shrugged in answer to his previous question, not really sure why I'd picked Naruto's house of all places to go after the panic attack had started. But I'd needed to go somewhere, the adrenaline in my body wouldn't have let me just wander around aimlessly.

"He said you were having an attack." Kakashi cut into my thoughts and my eyes focused on his once more. He knew just as well as I did what that meant.

"I don't want to go back." I whispered. All pride aside now, I was frightened.

"I won't make you go back there, Sasuke." He stood back up, not bothering to brush off the dirt that had collected on his pants, and came over to stand in front of me. I had to look up at him then. "You know I would never do that."

"I'm fine," I try to reason, my brain not able to wrap around his words very well. "It was nothing. It'll never happen again, I promise. I'll be better."

I could feel it happening again, eating it's way through my senses. My heart was speeding up and I couldn't catch my breath. But before it completely took over, I was pulled against something strong and firm.

I buried myself into Kakashi's chest, breathing deeply.

"It's alright. Everything will be alright." He whispered. I nodded, pulling away a moment later. A shaky hand brought the cigarette to my mouth again. I closed my eyes as I took a long drag, flicking the ashes on the ground, and blowing the smoke over Kakashi's shoulder.

"I really am sorry." I said.

"Don't apologize." He whispered, taking the cigarette from my hand and throwing it on the ground. His hand found my shoulder and he steered me toward the house. "We'll talk more in the morning. Right now you need to go to bed. You look like you're going to fall asleep standing here."

I nodded, taking another deep breath and walking into the house.

I just hoped everything was going to be alright like Kakashi said.

Things had a tendency to go badly for me. And I was fairly sure it would be no different now.

**Note: Not one of my best chapters, but it gave you a little bit of info. I really liked putting the song in this chapter, but if you'd read any of my other fics, you'd already know that I love putting songs in fics. I just love the idea of Sasuke singing to Shiny Toy Guns, whom I love. Alright well, I'm pretty settled now, so updates should be a little faster coming, sorry again about the wait.**

**Sasuke's Ipod:**

"**千鶴****Chizuru" - the GazettE-****ガゼット**

"**Bend the Bracket" - Chevelle**

**Even though I don't know you personally, I love each and every one of you! From one lost teenage boy to the world, I send my gratitude! **

**Send me feedback **


	8. Innocence

**Note: I once again want to apologize for the wait, and want everyone to know that I haven't given up on this story. I just got sort of… distracted with other things. But I have it here for you now, and the next chapter is almost half-way finished. I hope(keyword there "hope") to have it up really soon. **

**Warnings: Believe it or not, I don't think I have anything to warn you about in this chapter. Other than some major angst, that is.**

**Summary: Sasuke Uchiha is new to York High School and people are fawning all over him, just as Naruto Uzumaki expected. But what is so wrong with this new kid that he'd turn down popularity? Naruto finds himself wanting to find out and wanting to protect Sasuke from things he never thought he'd ever have to face.**

**Masochist**

By: Jaiden Lockheart

**Chapter 8: Innocence**

**POV: Sasuke Uchiha**

**Location: Hatake-Uchiha Residence**

**Day: 17, Sunday, November 12**

It was still dark outside when I woke up the next morning. Instinctively, I looked over to my bedside table to the small alarm clock sitting there. The glowing green numbers told me it was a little past seven-thirty. I sighed heavily, though it was drowned out by the constant hum of Naruto's heavy breathing. He slept soundly in the bed next to me, on his stomach with his limbs spread out around him. One of his arms, I noticed then, was wrapped almost securely around my middle.

I wondered vaguely how we'd ended up in that arrangement, how relaxed we seemed to be around each other, and the thought made my stomach turn. How I was able to lay here, comfortably, on my side and curled in my normal ball-like position. How, even though it had only been two-and-a-half weeks since I'd met this boy, was I comfortable enough to sleep next to him. How I wasn't tensed, and I hadn't woken up when he'd decided to throw his arm around me, almost as if to protect me. How, for the first time in a long time, I'd been able to sleep for longer than two hours without disruption from nightmares and other such things that always seemed to plague me.

"What are you doing to me?" I whispered the question, not wanting to wake him up. I didn't want him to open his eyes, to see us like this, see himself wrapped around me, see me not pushing him away.

And why wasn't I pushing him away?

I didn't really understand what made me start thinking about these things now. It wasn't the first time he had touched me, and the other times had been completely conscious on his part. Or had they all really been conscious? Had he really never found himself brushing against my arm on accident, or bumping into me while we walked to class together, without noticing? Had tonight, when he'd walked with me up to my house--his reassuring hand on the small of my back, pushing me along slightly--all been something he'd planned?

Or was it not planned? Not thought out at all? I didn't know what would be worse…

I looked over his still-sleeping form to the window next to my bed. The sun was just starting to come up now, what little light was showing, casting a sort of blue glow on everything outside. I loved this time of day, when everything was peaceful and quiet. When people were still asleep in their beds and I was the only one awake.

Careful as possible, I lifted Naruto's arm off my side. The limb was limp in his sleep, dead weight that was heavier than it would be normally. I laid it on the bed next to him, looking up at his face to make sure he was still asleep. I found myself stopping a moment, to stare.

His mouth was open slightly, sucking in air more deeply than when he was awake. His eyes were closed, the oceanic orbs completely hidden from view by his tanned lids. His lashes fluttered just slightly, indication that he was dreaming, and ghosting over his cheeks. I noticed he had a small blemish on his forehead, along his hair line. My eyes roamed over his blonde locks then, which were mussed from his moving around in the night, rubbing against the pillow. I almost laughed at the childishness of his whole stance. Of the innocence.

Did I look that innocent…when I slept?

The creaking of the walls around me pulled my attention away. I could hear the wind from outside and the house moving with it. It was going to be cold today, I could tell. What with the wind as fierce as it sounded and it getting later in the year. It was already early November.

I slid off the bed, making as minimal noise as possible. Standing on new, white carpet. I could feel the threads between my toes, crushing under my weight. It had been put into the room right before I moved in, matching the white paint they'd put on the walls. It was another reason I took this room when we'd moved in, the openness, the white. I could say that it was mostly because I could decorate this room however I wanted, but that would have been an apparent lie when people saw how bare the place was. The truth, as clichéd as it sounded coming from a teenager, was I had a slight case of claustrophobia.

I took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the rain that had yet to come and the leftover scent of whatever incense Naruto had decided to burn last night, I think it was lavender. I'd never been one for scented things, as I didn't like the way it took away from the other senses, even when I was in Japan and there were a blend of scents everywhere. However, I'd taken a liking to subtlety of Naruto's burned sticks.

Moving to the other side of my room and slipping my feet into my black flip-flops, I opened the door. The hallway was pitch black--the light bulb had blown a few days ago, Kakashi and I too lazy to replace it--and I had to feel my way to the stairs. I took to the steps quietly, knowing now where they creaked and avoiding those spots as best I could. I walked through the house slowly and on my toes. I must have looked pretty silly, but it kept me silent.

The lock on the front door clicked open and I pulled on the knob. It swung back toward me and I had to sidestep to get out of it's way. The last thing I needed was a blow to the head by a wooden door. I stepped outside quickly before shutting it behind me.

I hadn't expected it to be quite as cold as it actually was. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering slightly and wishing I had something more than just my flannel pajama pants on. I could feel the goose bumps rising along the exposed flesh of my arms. I bit my lip, trying to keep my teeth from chattering.

There was something different about today, I noted, when I breathed in the cold air. Something a little strange, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It might have been the smell of pine, that I wasn't exactly used to yet, or it could have been the way the wind blew my hair back, the end of the strands brushing against my cheeks. It was different, but satisfying. A sort of euphoric feeling that only quiet early mornings in a place I didn't quite belong could bring about. I felt disconnected from myself, but not in the same way as the terrifying out of body experiences I had when I was having an attack. It was more like I was watching a peaceful scene of myself, watching, but not experiencing fully. Because I couldn't experience this fully, I just didn't know why yet.

And it was with that discovery, that I broke.

The tears came easily, running fluidly down my cheeks. They tasted salty and dirty, but I couldn't help licking my lips and swallowing heavily. The sight of the yard, where I had stood last night in defense of myself, was starting to blur. I didn't rub at my eyes, didn't try to conceal the evidence of my pain. Because that's what this was. Pain.

Pain for something I had and didn't have at the same time. Something I felt yet was numb to. And everything seemed to be slipping from my loose grasp. Reality was slipping, and I looked up almost dreamily toward the quickly lightening sky. All I saw was blue. But there was something else--something worth this pain.

"Where are you?" I asked, knowing full well that I was not going to receive a reply, but not holding back the anger I felt when my knowledge proved right. I cried harder, sobs racking my body and my eyes burning with the tears that were welled along the rims, unable to make their way down my face now with it's current upward position.

I knew why today felt different. It was different because he wasn't there. He wasn't there to experience with me, and without him, I was not myself.

I was angry, that even after so long, I still couldn't let go. I was angry with him, with myself, because right now we were one in the same. I was almost possessed by his memory, and it scared even me how much I was like him sometimes. Like now, when I was crying and distraught, but still so calm.

I should be hyperventilating. I should be clutching my chest. I should be falling to the ground. I shouldn't be standing here, watching the sky, and waiting for an answer to the question I'd been asking for far too long a time.

And then it stopped. The tears dried and I looked back down at the grass. The grass that he had never stepped on. The grass that was something of a savior to me now. Because this grass and the house that was built on it, held no memories of him. Only memories of me.

There was only room for one of us.

I had always known that.

"Rave'?"

I turned around at the sound of Kakashi's voice. I hadn't heard him behind me until now and I wondered vaguely how long he'd been standing there.

"Yes?" I asked, not trying to act innocent, because innocence meant nothing to me anymore. Innocence was a false tag adults like to put on me because I was still far too young for the thoughts that plagued my mind. But I knew. I knew what innocence was. And I was thankful that Kakashi refused to treat me like the _innocent _child I was supposed to be.

"I was just wondering if you wanted some breakfast. I was going to make some eggs." He said, keeping our conversation light. It was too early in the morning, and we had come too close to an actual fight last night for him to try to talk about anything serious right now. For that I was grateful.

"No, I'm not hungry." I said, and watched the frown form on his brow.

"Sasuke, you have to eat something. You haven't eaten anything--"

"I ate yesterday." I cut him off, reminding him of the dinner we had had last night.

He sighed, defeated. Nodding, he motioned with his chin for me to come closer to him. I walked with light steps toward him. When I reached the door, which he'd been hanging out of, he reached out and pulled me to him with one arm.

"He's right here." He said, placing a hand over my chest.

I didn't have to ask him what he meant, for I had heard those words so many times I had stopped believing them. But for some reason, standing here with Kakashi's hand to my heart, bleeding warmth back into my shivering body, I believed.

Because Kakashi wasn't one for lying, especially when it came to this subject.

I had no choice but to believe.

I placed my hand over his, pressing it further into me, feeling my heart pound against his hand, and his pulse against my thumb.

And I smiled even through the tears that were quickly making a reappearance.

**Sasuke's iPod: **

**Abingdon Boys School - "HOWLING"**

**Panic! At the Disco - "Camisado"**

**Note: I know that this chapter is very short. But I really feel that I should end it there. It's a pretty heavy chapter, I think. And I'm sorry, I know that probably didn't answer any of your questions. I'm a feedback whore .! Tell me what you think. Thanks m( )m **

**--Jaide**


End file.
